Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My sister who has been married for 21 years just told me that her husband has been disrespectful for years to her and their 2 daughters. There is a pattern. If she or her daughters ask him a question he will talk over them and get angry. The unwritten rule in their house is you don't question daddy.
If they want to talk about how his actions make them feel he tells them to "shut the f*** up" and will walk out of the room.
He has called his daughter's boyfriend a "piece of sh**." When they question him or ask him why he said these things he tells them to "shut the F*** up and will not even talk about it.
He is very different from others on this site because from what I have read, many abusers feel badly afterward and try to charm their way back into their family's life. My sister's husband feels badly afterward, sits and mopes, then tell my sister how he is not the one for her and how she needs someone who wants to talk for hours and is all touchy-feely. He says "I am not that guy." If my sister tries to express her feelings he starts all over again with "shut the f up" and he walks away. He tells her she is too sensitive and does not say he is wrong.
My sister has for years just let each outburst pass and if she does not bring it up a few days go by and her husband thinks things are okay. My sister feels as tho she is unable to express her feelings and that he really doesn't care. He makes it seem like it is HER problem. Financially speaking he is a good provider-that's all he's good at according to my sister. He is unemotional and not loving. He does what is good for him. At the beginning of the marriage my sister wanted to cuddle and he told her he hates to cuddle so they never have.
I need your advice about what I can tell my sister. Please help! Thanks.
If they want to talk about how his actions make them feel he tells them to "shut the f*** up" and will walk out of the room.
He has called his daughter's boyfriend a "piece of sh**." When they question him or ask him why he said these things he tells them to "shut the F*** up and will not even talk about it.
He is very different from others on this site because from what I have read, many abusers feel badly afterward and try to charm their way back into their family's life. My sister's husband feels badly afterward, sits and mopes, then tell my sister how he is not the one for her and how she needs someone who wants to talk for hours and is all touchy-feely. He says "I am not that guy." If my sister tries to express her feelings he starts all over again with "shut the f up" and he walks away. He tells her she is too sensitive and does not say he is wrong.
My sister has for years just let each outburst pass and if she does not bring it up a few days go by and her husband thinks things are okay. My sister feels as tho she is unable to express her feelings and that he really doesn't care. He makes it seem like it is HER problem. Financially speaking he is a good provider-that's all he's good at according to my sister. He is unemotional and not loving. He does what is good for him. At the beginning of the marriage my sister wanted to cuddle and he told her he hates to cuddle so they never have.
I need your advice about what I can tell my sister. Please help! Thanks.
He seems to live only according to how life feels for him. When he acts out and she gets angry with him for the way he behaved, he GETS MAD AT HER FOR BRINGING IT UP.
When he's finished lashing out with words he expects that it should be over for everyone and he tells her that she is criticizing him "here we go again" if she brings it up.
Is this the usual thought process. Has anybody dealt with a situation where the abuser gets mad when you respond negatively to their abuse...and cuts you off, not allowing you to express how you feel? It's as though only he's allowed to express anger and he doesn't want to hear how his actions make my sister feel.Thanks for all your support!!