Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Has anyone ever been abused through sleep deprivation. I delt with this with a guy I used to live with (I'm male) who was my roommate and landlord in one. He did a lot of pot and alcohol, was very controlling, and impossible to reason with due to constant forgetfulness and mood swings. I found myself constantly living in fear of being kicked out on the streets. I was in college and this sleep abuse started just before the school year started so finding a new roommate at that time was impossible. I thought in the beginning I could get through to him, but any time I approached him about the fact that he would not let me sleep, he would stop for maybe a few days or a week and then start up again. This went on for months. With any other roommate, I would have put my foot down, but this guy reserved the power to through me out. He was also bigger than me, and as I became more and more sleep deprived I became somewhat fearful of him actually fighting me. I wanted to call the cops, or take him to court, but I had never signed a lease with him since we were "friends." I figured the law would just say "move out," but I had nowhere else to go and could not afford to live without a roommate. I can't tell you how physically awful it is to be that sleep deprived and see no way out.
Anyway, after months of this I found myself getting intensely sick (go figure), I caught a nasty flu that left me in bed for a week followed by mono. When this was finally over I was so happy to go back to my regualr life, but found I was never totally well. Before living with this guy, I was a huge health nut. I was into gymnastics and had recently discovered I was pretty good a singing, something I'd always wanted to try my hand at, but was too scared to do in front of anyone. Anyway, after my experience with this guy, I found I had upper respiratory problems, extreme fatigue, and loss of libido (the list goes on). I used to think I could get myself back into shape as doctors could find nothing wrong with me. For the next two years, any progress I made in any area of my life would be followed by strange illnesses that never seemed to fully go away. At about the two year mark, I caught a final flu that left me in a horrible state which I have been in for the last year. Goodbye dreams. Goodbye sex. Goodbye relationships. Goodbye life. I'm pretty sure I've got M.E./Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Anyway, I wanted to know if anyone else has delt with similar abuse. I feel it is not a form of abuse that is recognized at all. I tried searching online, but people only talk about childhood abuse and sexual abuse. I feel horribly alone. I tried to explain it to a few people in my life, but they don't understand the hell I went through or how sick I am now three years later. I feel if I tell anyone about this, they will think I am just looking for someone to blame, but it's so hard to keep it buried. I would feel a lot better knowing I'm not alone. Has anyone else been abused through sleep deprivation?
Anyway, after months of this I found myself getting intensely sick (go figure), I caught a nasty flu that left me in bed for a week followed by mono. When this was finally over I was so happy to go back to my regualr life, but found I was never totally well. Before living with this guy, I was a huge health nut. I was into gymnastics and had recently discovered I was pretty good a singing, something I'd always wanted to try my hand at, but was too scared to do in front of anyone. Anyway, after my experience with this guy, I found I had upper respiratory problems, extreme fatigue, and loss of libido (the list goes on). I used to think I could get myself back into shape as doctors could find nothing wrong with me. For the next two years, any progress I made in any area of my life would be followed by strange illnesses that never seemed to fully go away. At about the two year mark, I caught a final flu that left me in a horrible state which I have been in for the last year. Goodbye dreams. Goodbye sex. Goodbye relationships. Goodbye life. I'm pretty sure I've got M.E./Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Anyway, I wanted to know if anyone else has delt with similar abuse. I feel it is not a form of abuse that is recognized at all. I tried searching online, but people only talk about childhood abuse and sexual abuse. I feel horribly alone. I tried to explain it to a few people in my life, but they don't understand the hell I went through or how sick I am now three years later. I feel if I tell anyone about this, they will think I am just looking for someone to blame, but it's so hard to keep it buried. I would feel a lot better knowing I'm not alone. Has anyone else been abused through sleep deprivation?
If I did manage to fall asleep on the couch or somewhere else, he would wake me up by choking me or elbows in the back or something.
I had a baby and a job that required me to drive from 2am-7am. After work I would park in a Kroger parking lot, lock the doors, recline the seat and sleep right there in the car. I was so desperate I didn't care how dangerous that was. I just literally couldn't make it on the drive home because I was falling asleep behind the wheel.
I still have nightmares and wake up in a panic thinking I've fallen asleep driving, and I don't even drive anymore.
My stbx kept me so sleep deprived I had hallucinations. He would then use this excuse to have me committed into mental hospitals and he would lie and say I was suicidal.. when I absolutely was not. But the doctors didn't want to take chances no matter how much I tried to explain it wasn't true and they put me involuntarily in the mental ward.
It is very hard to sleep still, even though I'm safe now. I find myself needing absolute quiet and darkness, and I wake up too early. It's only been a month and a half away from my abuser, so hopefully things will get better in the sleep department.
As for helping people get out of abusive homes... the domestic violence program would be the place to go. They take volunteers, or you can apply to be a salaried employee, but don't expect to make lots of $$$. Even the attorney they hire makes almost nothing. They rely heavily on donations, and the workers try to make sure the clients get the most of it. The program here helps with legal issues, bills, food, housing, and they have a large shelter for women who need to hide from their abusers with their children. Its really nice, and they employ house mothers to live there part time and help run the place. They also hire counselors and court advocates.
It takes time for you to heal mentally, spiritually and physically.
Are you in therapy? If not, therapy can be a useful outlet in order to free yourself of emotional burden so that the body can heal.
I was deprived of sleep from my ex boyfriend who put me through hell because he brought a lot of chaos into my life. Chaos that I am not accustomed to.
I too have sleep issues still. I get woken up by the suddlest of noises. I stay with my parents at the moment, and sometimes I find myself waking up to them (not they're excessively loud). It's very frustrating and confusing because I find myself waking up to high stress and associating that stress with my family now which adds to guilt. Anyway, I wanted to mention a supplement called Kavinace that has helped me sleep and stay asleep. It may need to be rotated with something else though. Hope that helps.
Thank you all for you posts and support.
Well, you are far from daft because this abuse reformer covers this very topic. He also admits that abuser reform has slim to none odds..
Sleep deprivation as an technique in the abusers arsenal. He did not go into at length but the stories did upset me deeply. I am so sorry you have dealt with this.
Regarding talking to others about it? People don't understand this kind of stuff unless they have experienced it, too. Tends to be a waste of time to talk to others. In fact, it can make you feel a lot worse. Hang in there and take good care of yourself.