I was in a relationship for 4 years with an emotionally abusive man. He eventually broke up with me. At first, I cried my head off. Then I just felt sad and off-kilter. Then I realized how much better I felt without him. I wasn't always waiting for him to critizie me ('You pet the cat too much"), or break up with me again. I was, finally, not walking on eggshells.

I then started to feel angry, because of how he treated me. But some time passed, and, eventually, I begin to naturally feel less angry.

Then, out of the blue, I got an email from my ex. It just said that he still had some of my furniture, and wanted it out of his house.

Now, I do not care about the furniture. But there are some things I'd like to say to him, because I never got the chance to say then when we were in our relationship. I didn't stand up for myself very much, then, and so I never told him how abusive he was, how badly he treated me.

When I first got the email, I dismissed it, and forgot about it. But, that was, I don't know, a month or two ago, and, suddenly, I realize that there are these things I want to say to him.

Now, I don't have an urge to send him some big rant, or yell at him. I no longer feel that kind of anger. I have very little anger left in me about him. But, what I do feel is that I would like to stand up for myself, the way I didn't when we were together.

If he were standing in front of me, I wouldn't yell. I would just calmly say something like, "You treated me very badly for a long time, and it was not okay You are emotionally abusive, controlling, and need help."

So, do you think it's a bad idea or a good idea to email him?? Is it finally getting to stand up for myself, in a quiet and dignified way, or is it just opening up old wounds??