Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am scared to open up about the physical and emotional abuse I went through because I am not sure if I was or if I was just overreacting to those actions and words. Can someone clearly define emotional and physical abuse?
Welcome to DS.
Though I have never been through physical abuse.I guess it will be when someone hits you/shakes you and invades your space.
Others here may enlighten us some more on this.
I can however say something for emotional abused.
1.In a normal relationship, after a fight (minor or major), you are not asked to forget that the fight happened and start behaving normally again.You can actually talk it out.The reason for the fight.What hurt him and what hurt you and how can you both can try not repeat the things that hurt eachother.And some actual concrete steps being taken to ensure this from both sides.
2.In a normal relationship, there are times when the person tells you how lucky he/she is to have you.And proves it by his actions also.I was always told in my past relationship that "He loves me but not that much".Go figure what that means.
3.In a normal relationship, if you have a bad mood, you are not made to feel bad about it.The person may decide to give you space or ask you what is bothering you or do both.But you will NEVER be shouted at for being too moody or making his already tough day worse.
4.In a normal relationship, the fights are NEVER shouting loudly at you infront of strangers telling them that you don't deserve this vacation or him/her.I was shouted at, infront of anyone and everyone.This was after I had told him that you can shout at me inside the room but please don't make a scene when we are out in public.It looks bad.
5.In abusive relationship, you are blamed for almost anything and everything.He lost his wallet, his day went bad, he is in need of money and you are not taking a debt for him, he fell down you didn't pick him but picked the camera, he fell down and you picked the camera and not him..It can be anything..
6.You are constantly trying to please him/her or are disconnected completely.But nothing helps in keeping him/her happy.
7.In abusive relationship, if you cry it either makes him very happy that he got the control back or it irritates the hell out of him for the "drama" that you are doing.It is never about finding out what made you feel hurt.It's either "Oh My Baby is crying" or "Stop this attention seeking".
8.Any achievement of yours is NEVER something big.Nothing to celebrate about.
9.In abusive relationship, there are too many financial demands from you even if you are not comfortable.For me, I was asked to lie to my parents and buy a laptop which he sold later, my mobile phone which he sold later and forced me to take loan when I had a very less salary.
I hope you can open up more about yourself so that we can help you further.
No one will judge you here that I can vouch from my own experience.
I wish I would have seen this list years ago, but it tells me that I am ok in thinking it is time to get out. I have been told 20000000x and ways that I am overreacting to actions and words. Believe what the women on this board say...I have been here for a few days, but it is amazing to know that other women are/were in the same position and it is not right.