Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
A widowed friend that I chat with a lot is seeing someone new. Her first husband was alcoholic and a batterer; her second long term relationship was verbally and emotionally abusive to the point that she left him after four years. Now two years after that she\'s seeing a guy that seems to me is no better. She reports that he drinks a lot and that he says his last girlfriend left him because she thought he was a control freak. My friend says he invited her to move in with him on their second date and she\'s actually thinking about trying to get out of her lease.
I see red flags, she sees a charming guy. I have tried to warn her to go slowly, but to no avail.
Is there anything I can do other than be ready to pick up the pieces some day?
I see red flags, she sees a charming guy. I have tried to warn her to go slowly, but to no avail.
Is there anything I can do other than be ready to pick up the pieces some day?
It's hard to stand by and watch people we care about make mistakes, I'm experiencing this myself with someone close to me. I've talked to her about my own experiences, have shown her parallels, but she's "in love", and willing to take the good with the bad (he's not physically abusive, so she thinks it's not so bad). I've connected her to a lot of reading material, and I think she's read some, but not sure what if any effect it's had.
The only thing I asked her to do is to consider putting off the 'big commitment' for a while. I've done what I can short of throw myself in front of her. Time will tell!
All you can really do is tell her what you see are the red flags. Maybe you could suggest she do a pros & cons list for this new guy and also make a list of the things about the other two that caused her to leave then she can see on paper how much the new guy is like the old ones. Also ask her what her gut is telling her.