Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

5,836 Members
27,933 Posts
1 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Running out of fight

raniagale
raniagale
Since I am still broke with no end in sight, I attempted to file a free divorce through legal aid, which is only free if uncontested or your paperwork gets set in a stack a mile high awaiting its turn for evaluation.

He called me unhappy with the legal wording of "made life intolerable". I explained that in our state the options are that, adultery or my life being endangered (all of which might apply), but I did chose the nicest option. He would have no part of that. I explained that I would be more than happy to be the one that "made life intolerable", take care of the paperwork and he could file it. No, he isn't the one wanting to file for divorce, of course - even though he's out living it up with other women.

I don't have the money, time or energy to manage it at the moment. I have lost all fight, don't feel like attending my classes. For some reason, maybe stress, I have been bleeding for two weeks. I am weak. I just feel like if I see other people, I will burst into tears. I feel both like if I don't find some strength, he will be winning and like I just can't do it and want to hide in bed for a couple of weeks. I'm just not real sure where to get the reserves to pick myself up.
wvartgirl
wvartgirl
Hey girl...I so know how you feel. Our abusers love to dog us until we give up and we can't let them do that to us. Stick to your guns, be strong and get what you deserve...a divorce.

Maybe you need some iron supplements? Just sayin...it might make you feel stronger if you have lost a lot of blood. Hang in there, hon. Keep fighting the good fight.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I get like that sometimes as well. I'd like to think of it as being reserved, but I really think it's a mild state of depression. A good burst of energy always makes me feel better. Pampering myself with something also makes me feel better as well. About the weakness, I agree w/ WVartgirl, you should consider taking some iron supplements. Vitamin C supplements would help your body absorb more of the iron. Hugs, sweetie.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please do make sure you are taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally.
Get enough sleep, get enough to eat and don't forget to breath.

When my x finally was out, I slept 12-13 hours a day for several months. All that stress from the marriage finally caught up with me and it was finally safe to sleep. Sometimes that's what we need.
Livndadrem
Livndadrem
Agree with what the others say about taking care of yourself. As for the divorce, if leaving it in a big pile is what it takes, then leave it in a big pile and get on with your life in the meantime. Show him that you don't need his shit.

And if he calls you? Hang up. You need to take care of yourself, and listening to more of his crap will not help you.

Best wishes to you. Hang in there, you will find your strength again.
clearbreakofday
clearbreakofday
I agree with the others, sweetie. Change sometimes can bring about stress but the hardsip for now will be well worth it. Keep venting on here anbd letting it out. Know that your ex is never going to make this easier on you so you need to be easy on yourself. Keep fighting it will get better don't let him win by breaking your spirit some more
Tamehau
Tamehau
Hang in there girl. That is just a tatic to get your attention. If he wants to do it then let him do it. But if hes not then after 30 days, it will go to trial and then the judge will award it to you. You don't need him. All you need is a judge that will set a date and make him show. And if he doesn't you get whatever you ask for.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tame is right on that. And you do have documentation of the abuse as you had pressed charges. So keep your documentation. He can dispute the reason all he wants - it's still valid. Mine did that too. You really need to not discuss it with him as he's going to do nothing but mess with your mind. There is no real negotiating with an abuser - remember that - they are not going to agree and anything they do agree on with you they will change their mind later. Go on with the paperwork and take it a step at a time! In the meantime - take care of yourself - get rest, take those iron supplements and take your time.

It would really help you to not talk to him so much - that is what makes you so stressed and tired.
tierra4
tierra4
Girl keep the faith he is just trying to wear you down, like a dog with a bone, he doesnt want you and doesnt want you available for anybody else.
There are wonderful helps here take them and take care of YOU!
FarAndAway
FarAndAway
And please see a doctor about the bleeding and depression. You need to keep your physical strength up! You DO have reserves. They will kick in when you really need them. Hugs.