Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
today he had a huge blow up because my son stayed home sick from school, im sorry i cant send him to school when he is sick and the school would just send him home anyway. no he is not as sick as a i thought but he couldnt go coughing and sneezing all over every body. so he says that he has missed too much this year, all of which has not been his fault, first off a bout of bad constipation, he was out for 4 days, by dr's orders and then he was off 1.5 days for a rash per dr's orders and this is the first time this year he has an actual cold. so he wanting yelling all about being home this morning and how he needs to be in school and that he should eat better and get more exercise so that he is healthier, wth? Also he yelled at my son about it that he should be in school and his parents made him go to school when he was sick and made my son cry, bullshit! This was before he had his coffee so we never talk to him before his coffee but he started this morning with this crap. this is so sickening to listen to nearly on a daily basis of different rantings. If he cared so much, maybe he should cook supper or actually do something with our son except sit on his ass and play video games with him but its my sons fault or my fault. He's such an ass. I was so exhausted this morning, been so tired lately, life is just exhausting me but as i lay in bed this morning with my son cuz thats where he has to be if he's sick, not allowed to be downstairs near him so he doesn't get sick. As i lay there, I think to myself if i had enough energy i could just pack up and leave because he had left for a while to drop off something to his business partner and wasn't around, i could have just left, just packed up but i didn't, i was just too tired. Of course then he comes back home and he's the nicest guy ever and expects us to go on like nothing happened, like he wasn't yelling like a raving lunatic. Why didn't i just get up and go, why does this feel so impossible. I can't do this anymore, i hate myself for being there and putting up with this and for my son having to go through this crap.
Please stop using any more of your precious energy hating yourself for being there & putting up w/him. Please take you and your son to the nearest women's shelter.
Once you're out, you will be amazed to find your energy returning.
Please don't beat yourself up over not leaving. You're not lazy. Have you talked w/your local women's shelter? They can help you with a plan to leave and maybe even help you do it. The shelter where I live will help the client make a safe plan to leave & then go get them & their children when its time to leave & bring them to the shelter.
You don't have to do this alone.
((((((((((racer)))))))))))))
I just read this great book it's called. "Coping with infuriating, mean critical people " by NIna W. Brown.
The situation still sucks, but I DO feel a bit better.
It's so hard living like this. I've got a very similar story. It is really hard to get free. But I know something better is waiting for both of us. We just have to do what we need to do. Stay strong (you are strong)! L4S
Make a plan or at least start thinking of a plan. Take it bit by bit. What would it take for you to leave? What things do you need to take with you. Plan - I know it's not easy.
Peace to you,
Seawee
If you stay in this relationship as your son grows up he will begin to exhibit all kinds of emotional behavioral problems due to a sick environment.
I just guessing because that is the way my daughter was she was only an infant. in daycare, barely 3 months old. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was the matter with her. I tried everything, from leaving here at home with grandma for 2 hrs in the evening, to bottle feeding her only. all of it didn't make sense, she never wanted to be at home with her dad, and would grab my leg and wouldn't let go of it. I would have to tear myself away from all 3 of my children just to get a much needed break. I was only allowed to go to church alone, never out with friends, never out alone, always and only church.
there was so much more to my story, but by the time she was 4.5 I had to leave him. He ended up going to prison and I raised all 3 of my children with a lil help from my aunt. I should say she helped me a lot. I wouldn't have made it with out her or my oldest daughter. They were tremendous help to me and still are.
For your childs sake I would say find a way to leave. Start by contacting a friend. see if she can come help you pack a little bit of things while he is away. With your amount of energy, I would say just a couple of changes, because you wont have very much energy to take care of more than that for a couple days. Even though you will probably be unconcious for a few days. See if you can leave your child with a trusted friend for a couple days so you can recooperate, (sleep), that is what I mean by unconcious. Sorry I just remember how it was when I left. I should have gotten a babysitter for a few days, but couldn't bear to be without my children, cuz at that moment they were my life. I hope you get all the help you need.
I am very sorry that you have to go through all of this.
Take care, and keep in contact with all of these ladies they are very helpful and full of support. I am so glad I have come here.
I still have a long long way to go, but am very glad these ladies give me support.
luv n ((hugs))