Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
This is something that I have to do, if i dont leave my husband, i know i will be miserable for the rest of my life, and who wants to live that way, not me! I'm so sick of the constant put downs and controlling behaviour. I think after 32 years of life I am able to make my own decisions and be able to do my own thing without being put down for it. I am a responsible adult with a child, I am a good mother, I am a good person, I deserve better than this. My son deserves better than this and deserves a life of happiness and to be stress free, he deserves to be a kid, to make noise, to yell, to scream, to run around and make noise, to cry because he's a kid!!!!!!
My love for my son is going to get me through this and is going to be my fighting force in making a better life for us. I need to stop thinking about what he wants and how he feels and trust my feelings and intuition and know that this life is wrong and not good for any of us. It is his fault if he is hurt, or depressed or whatever he feels, I am not responsible for him. I am responsible for me and my son and our happiness and our life and it is damn well going to be a good one!
I have had enough of this shit! I am a good person, I will be a good person, I will not be transformed into a bitch because of him and I will beat this, I will be the person i am meant to be and not take my anger and resentment out on other people, this has to stop!
I hate my life and that is no way to live, I love living, I love life and I love sharing it with my son. He is my light, he is my life and we will have the life we deserve, now just to find the courage, the strength, and take those few steps and get the hell out of this hell i'm living in!
Few things he has said to me lately, I do not make good decisions regarding my son, I should not get a tattoo on my arm because I would be an embarrassment, white trash and look like a carnie and he wouldn't be able to take me out to a restaurant because he will not be seen with someone with tattoos all over, mind you i will have a total of 5! Fucker, get out of my head, this is my life, I will live it how I want and if you don't like it, go F yourself, my life, my choices, never again will a man determine how i do things, never again!
Encouragement would be greatly appreciated, I have been seriously contemplating leaving for the past 3 years, been wanting to leave for the past 8 years, i have been to a womens shelter, i have my support group of friends and family, i just really need to break my ties to this man, he is ruining our lives and killing me!
My love for my son is going to get me through this and is going to be my fighting force in making a better life for us. I need to stop thinking about what he wants and how he feels and trust my feelings and intuition and know that this life is wrong and not good for any of us. It is his fault if he is hurt, or depressed or whatever he feels, I am not responsible for him. I am responsible for me and my son and our happiness and our life and it is damn well going to be a good one!
I have had enough of this shit! I am a good person, I will be a good person, I will not be transformed into a bitch because of him and I will beat this, I will be the person i am meant to be and not take my anger and resentment out on other people, this has to stop!
I hate my life and that is no way to live, I love living, I love life and I love sharing it with my son. He is my light, he is my life and we will have the life we deserve, now just to find the courage, the strength, and take those few steps and get the hell out of this hell i'm living in!
Few things he has said to me lately, I do not make good decisions regarding my son, I should not get a tattoo on my arm because I would be an embarrassment, white trash and look like a carnie and he wouldn't be able to take me out to a restaurant because he will not be seen with someone with tattoos all over, mind you i will have a total of 5! Fucker, get out of my head, this is my life, I will live it how I want and if you don't like it, go F yourself, my life, my choices, never again will a man determine how i do things, never again!
Encouragement would be greatly appreciated, I have been seriously contemplating leaving for the past 3 years, been wanting to leave for the past 8 years, i have been to a womens shelter, i have my support group of friends and family, i just really need to break my ties to this man, he is ruining our lives and killing me!
Let your anger propel you forward and far far away from abuse and the abuser. but just remember keep your plans quiet, just to yourself, not even to your son. You can explain to your son once you have moved out and your ex well you said it best what he can do and once you are gone it won't take him long to figure it out. He doesn't need to know ahead of time and please don't to leave him if he doesn't change, he probably wouldn't believe you and it could just lead to him getting furious and to a huge fight.
Make your plans, line up where you will go and what you will do once you get there then wait for him to leave for the day and then go. Take what you can, leave the rest and fly to your new life.
When you said:
I am a responsible adult with a child, I am a good mother, I am a good person, I deserve better than this. My son deserves better than this and deserves a life of happiness and to be stress free, he deserves to be a kid, to make noise, to yell, to scream, to run around and make noise, to cry because he's a kid!!!!!!
Well that is all true and they are all good things and you are right.
It really sounds like you are in a bad abusive relationship with your husband and it is not right to raise your son in that environment. Its not health for any of you! So if you think about it you are also doing him a favor since he is so bothered by how you are right? Thats what I would tell him. I dont know if he is dangerous or has been abusive then dont say anything seek shelter and get out without him knowing but if it is something you are going to discuss with him I would say since everything I do makes you so miserable I will do you a favor and I am leaving. I'm sorry but he sounds like a huge ass! Good for you!! You recognize his abusiveness and you dont want to subject your son to it. I will never regret leaving my sons father because it was like what you say and worse with physical abuse and if i stayed my son would not be the good young man he is today. i thouroughly enjoyed raising my son and all of it paid off as he is almost 18 soon and quite a good natured well rounded young man! I am proud of him and myself for doing it!! It wasn't easy being mom and dad but it was better for both of us!! Now that he is grown up he knows it now too!
Being a single mum isn't easy. I don't really have any support, I am responsible for my boy 24/7, I don't even get any child support. Finances are tough, I've lost all my savings and sold my house. I get stressed, I'd love a break from my son sometimes. But the worst days are SO much better than living the life you are living now - I know this, because I lived that life too. I'm not perfect, I'm not a perfect mother even - but I love being able to make choices for myself. My boy is happy, confident, loves life, loves me. He's outgoing and responsible (as much as an almost 5 yr old can be). I'm not constantly undermined as his mother, he respects me (most of the time lol). None of this would be possible if we were still with my ex, because he would be constantly putting me down and my boy would already have learned that I have no authority over him or anybody else (even over myself), we wouldn't be able to do fun stuff together, I wouldn't be able to teach him that it's ok to make mistakes or how to be responsible for his own choices and actions.
Life can be better. You are right, you don't deserve to live like that and nor does your son. Getting out is hard, staying out can be harder in the beginning. But it's SO worth it, and it does get so much easier.
I have a tattoo. I'm 53 and got a tattoo when I was 24 when it wasn't so popular. Imagine that! Because I wanted to. So I met my H and he didn't know when I got it....but I heard...you must have been a wild child. Oh My God..you let someone touch your body? Its gross that you were so wild.
First, I was never WILD. I just wanted one. I thought mine was pretty...I never thought anything about it...as most men think its sexy on a woman. He problem not mine.
We don't have kids...second marriage. Thank God. But I had a bad marriage many years ago to a violent man I had children with. My kids never forget what happened. They are men now. Such hatred towards their Dad. I wish I moved away and never let him see them. Hindsight.