Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Pasted in from today's
Wolf's Daily Howl:
How many of you have heard their abuser say
(after being abusive):
I was only joking!
That's what the talk show person said
after scamming the nurse at the hospital
where the Duchess of Cambridge went
for severe morning sickness.
Yesterday, that nurse. . . . took her life.
That was the barely-minute-long news story
on CNN this morning.
But a life has ended. I felt sick when I heard
the story.
The nurse who took the scam-call was USED.
I don't know what the nurse felt.
Humilated?
Violated?
Guilt?
Shame?
Whatever it was that she felt,
it was deadly.
But remember folks. . . .
it was "just" a "joke."
The next time you hear that,
know that jokes can be deadly.
Wolf's Daily Howl:
How many of you have heard their abuser say
(after being abusive):
I was only joking!
That's what the talk show person said
after scamming the nurse at the hospital
where the Duchess of Cambridge went
for severe morning sickness.
Yesterday, that nurse. . . . took her life.
That was the barely-minute-long news story
on CNN this morning.
But a life has ended. I felt sick when I heard
the story.
The nurse who took the scam-call was USED.
I don't know what the nurse felt.
Humilated?
Violated?
Guilt?
Shame?
Whatever it was that she felt,
it was deadly.
But remember folks. . . .
it was "just" a "joke."
The next time you hear that,
know that jokes can be deadly.
I agree that the whole thing was appalling from beginning to end. I also think that those involved (and not just the two presenters - the whole thing was pre-recorded and run past legal and other departments before being put on air) knew or should have known that it would or could cause significant embarrassment if they, firstly got through, and secondly aired it. And yet they did so, for a cheap laugh.
That said, to call someone abusive (and yes, Ilene, I know you were referring to the act as being abusive, my point is a little more general) over a single incident can also be unfair if there is genuine remorse (as may well be the case here - although it's hard to tell whether the concerns about the mental health of these two is due to remorse or to the extraordinary bashing and abuse they themselves have received in the media and particularly on social media). We have all done or said foolish things, many of us have underestimated the power our words or actions can have.
This is a massive tragedy and it should never have happened - it was not an appropriate "joke", there was very little about it that was in any way humorous and it had the capacity to hurt.
And saying that, the more general point that "just joking" is NOT a valid excuse for abuse of any kind. And a victim of a cruel "joke" is not lacking in a sense of humour nor "too sensitive" if they don't find it funny. Cruel is cruel, whether someone laughs or not.
I think the intentions where for it to be funny, and not very thought through but I find it hard to believe that the intentions of those involved would be that someone would die as a result. And for that I can imagine that the d,j's are most likely feeling awful for what has happened and their karma for a bad joke will be with them now for the rest of their lives. I think we all sometimes have to find a balance where we don't tarnish others with the same brush from our own abusive experiences!
This what happened us not abuse! Abuse is when someone continuingly goes out there way to impact on another to gain power and control, and as pointed out the whole "it's only a joke" is an excuse real abusers make to get away with abuse so they may continue to have power and control.
Lets not put our own experiences onto other situations, it can be unhealthy to do so, and we deserve a healthier life after everything we have all been through
Yeah, right.
A lot of good points were
brought up and argued.
Throughout my life, from
very early on, I have been
involved in media. Long
ago, I was a print journalist
with a major metropolitan
daily (as a cub reporter). I
began learning what things
got into print and why. I
began learning about the
connection between
commerce and journalism,
the connection between
marketing and what got
shared with the readers.
Then I moved on into
marketing and promotion.
All these years later, I have
a pretty good understanding
that what the talk show people
were looking for was not
specifically "laughs" so
much as exposure or "buzz,'
and advertising dollars. It's
all about the bucks.
I don't know if this is true globally
but in the U.S., the T.V. shows
are broadcasting more and more
"gotcha" shows. In its earliest
form, it was "Candid Camera."
Way back when, the gotcha was
relatively innocent. Now, it seems,
the more humiliation that can be
sprung on an innocent person
who walks into the scenario,
not knowing that there's a
pay off for the producers,
the more "successful" the
scenario is deemed to
have been.
To me, this is a pattern.
And it's a pattern with intent.
So. . . . while it may seem
extreme to label the prank
call to the hosptial as
intended abuse. . . . . . . .
to me, the whole genre of
catching innocent people
up in a scenario that the
innocent person did not
begin their day hoping to
be in. . . . . at least borders
on abuse.
Perhaps when Kate was
admitted to the hospital,
there should have been
a corporate training session
or at least a memo on how to
handle inquiries and what
procedures were in place
with the immediate (royal)
family, regarding contact.
All of this is hindsight.
I don't claim to have answers.
All I'm left with is a profound
sadness for all innocent
people who proceed unknowingly
into some predator's lair.
That is a quote from the article in The Telegraph. I find that equally or even more disturbing. So apparently that radio station has made public embarrassment and humiliation a common practice. The way to handle media that behaves irresponsibly is to not listen or watch them and to encourage others to do the same. As i keep saying, when they start losing money because their audience vanishes, they will either fold or they will learn to do things differently. It is a very sad state of affairs that human suffering has become a source of entertainment for some people. It doesn't have to be that way but will remain that way until we decide to stop listening or watching the media that supports that kind of programming.
And 'it was only a joke" is THE common mantra of all abusers.
"""""
On Sunday, the stations owners refused to apologise for the incident.
Instead, they suggested that Mrs Saldanha may have killed herself because she suffered from depression a claim denied by her family and friends and said the hospital should do its homework.
Sandy Kaye, a spokesman for Southern Cross Austereo, which owns 2Day FM, said: No one has looked at the hospital; it is quite easy to blame us. The hospital were very quick to get their statement out. It is much sexier to attack an Australian radio network without having done your homework to find out how much responsibility we actually bear.
I dont want to shift the blame. It [the prank call] is much sexier than the issue of depression or talking about what led someone to a suicide The Australian industry seems to sit quite fairly behind us. It was only supposed to be a harmless prank. """"""
Aside from the use of the word "sexier" to describe an attitude which I find appalling use of English, the ongoing debate around this disgusts me for other reasons.
So what if she was depressed? People become depressed for a lot of reasons. They are entitled to keep working and be supported at work. It's a reason to take greater care and have more sensitivity in making broadcasting decisions because you can never know how susceptible your victim is going to be.
And yes Learned, that article is correct. The show's hosts had a fourteen year old hooked up to a lie detector and quizzed her in front of her mum. When she revealed the rape they kept broadcasting and went on to ask if that was her first time. The station has retained extremely controversial "shock jocks" after other stupid radio stunts and insults. They thrive off controversy.
http://www.news.com.au/national/radios-bad-headlines-rating-for-all-the-wrong-reasons/story-fndo4bst-1226533210818
This station knows full well that it hurts people. It has done it in the past and it makes an active decision to retain the staff who do it. I've been hearing about it in the media for a long time. Shame on us Australia for listening to them.
That is a completely B.S. excuse. It is not a joke - it is a bullying tactic to intentionally cause embarrassment &/or harm. People who enjoy doing this to others are nothing more than bullies who are feeding thier iwn narcissistic need to prove thier ability to control others by turning them into thier personal victims. It is a form of cruelty which unfortunately is considered acceptable by many in what is a narcissistic society.