Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi, Im new here, obviously. My story is too long to tell in one sitting, but to get to the point, Im in an emotionally abusive marriage. Ive known about my husbands narcisstic behavior about 10 months into our relationship, but it always too late to leavelease was signed, baby on the way, oops, were married now. Ive known him for 10 years, but the faade he put on outside of the relationship was shattered once we got into the relationship.
We havent been married a year yet. Our daughter is 6 months old. Im going through all these emotionsI dont want to be a failure in my marriage, I dont want my daughter to have a broken home, he may change, its just too hard financially to leave. I know all the reasons not to go along with my excuses, but still, it is SO HARD. Especially when my husband switches up on me and is as sweet as pie (classic, I know).
How do I get over these feelings? How do I start to leave?
The main things keeping me is that one, were in an apartment lease until the end of Augustplenty of time for ups and downs. I can afford the apartment by myself (hell, I pay for everything now since he doesnt work), but, of course, he wont leave. Also, I dreamed of getting a house this year. Ive been making strides to afford one, even by myself. But if he throws any kink in my plans, that dream is gone. I just wish he would quietly go away at the end of this lease and not drive me too crazy while Im here.
I really have no support. Hes charmed my family and Im far away from my friends. I have one good friend here who can help me emotionally, but definitely not financially. He claims if we ever divorce, hes gonna fight me tooth and nail for our daughter. And that Im a bad mom for driving her father away. I know, this is probably all classic to you guys, but Im dying here.
Well, I just popped in to say hello and nice to meet you all. I hope to learn from you guys and share too.
We havent been married a year yet. Our daughter is 6 months old. Im going through all these emotionsI dont want to be a failure in my marriage, I dont want my daughter to have a broken home, he may change, its just too hard financially to leave. I know all the reasons not to go along with my excuses, but still, it is SO HARD. Especially when my husband switches up on me and is as sweet as pie (classic, I know).
How do I get over these feelings? How do I start to leave?
The main things keeping me is that one, were in an apartment lease until the end of Augustplenty of time for ups and downs. I can afford the apartment by myself (hell, I pay for everything now since he doesnt work), but, of course, he wont leave. Also, I dreamed of getting a house this year. Ive been making strides to afford one, even by myself. But if he throws any kink in my plans, that dream is gone. I just wish he would quietly go away at the end of this lease and not drive me too crazy while Im here.
I really have no support. Hes charmed my family and Im far away from my friends. I have one good friend here who can help me emotionally, but definitely not financially. He claims if we ever divorce, hes gonna fight me tooth and nail for our daughter. And that Im a bad mom for driving her father away. I know, this is probably all classic to you guys, but Im dying here.
Well, I just popped in to say hello and nice to meet you all. I hope to learn from you guys and share too.
I love this line...."he kills off (people with NPD) piece by piece of me..torturously, slowly, and without regret.." What a perfect description. So slowly you have lost a good portion to them before you realize what the heck happened. I didn't know it, until I saw him do it to my son....then it all began to be clear to me.
Lots of stories of triumph over them here...it is possible, Suesue....Hugs...
We currently have separate accounts. I believe in having separate accounts for our marriage because my parents did so. We have a joint together too, but it's collecting dust as my paycheck goes directly to my account.
I guess I need to just let the house thing go. I'm so mad because I feel like my life has been stalled since I've been with him. I'm stuck at this job that I hate and only keeping so I can get a house. I did start my own business, but he sabotaged that and now I'm out almost $5000 for nothing.
I'm going to call a DV counselor, because he's turned his charm on again and now I kinda lost my will to leave again. He's still flip flopping about getting a house, so maybe I can slip out after the lease is over.
I read about NPD when we were dating. I felt like he had that, but I was sucked in. I'll read on it again. I also have an ebook copy of "Why Does He Do That" and read it when we really get into it.
Thanks again for your support.
These people are manipulative in a way that is unbelievable to those of us who have consciences.
Cut your losses, chalk it up to a bad experience but a learning one...
Best of Luck...and like said tremendous amount of info here on this...NPD