Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
This weekend has been one of those from HELL!!! He was relentless with me, calling, harassing me endlessly,threatening! Talked with attorney on Friday and they got everything together for me to file the protection order today,but I just couldn't go do it this morning.The guy was not happy,but I just couldn't drag myself from the bed to get in the shower and go there!!! I feel so defeated and exhausted right now.I don't even know how else to explain it ,I just want to give up and give him everything and I wish I could disappear,but with a young child I can't !!!!! By the way I can not get him out of my house he will not leave and my attorney tells me not to leave I am an absolute wreak! So when it gets so bad I am feeling unsafe, I go to my Grandmother's house and stay. she passed away in April, and I sleep in her bed!!! and she was the love of my life!!! So it is just a double dose of pain by the time I get to her house.
its not fair, its not right, you dont deserve this, just remember you are loved and you are a beautiful, special, wonderful person!!
we are all here to support you!
all my best & a great big hug!
pick yourself up.
go get that protection order.
so. is this protection order supposed to make him leave the house?
or is it supposed to make him treat you nicely while in the house.
I don't get it.
I do get how you have no energy at all to deal with this.
they suck it right out of you.
hugs to you.
I can't believe that your attorney thinks you should stay in the house if you feel unsafe.
that's why I'm leaving. he can keep the f***ing house. I just want to be free.
What you are about to do, will increase your risk imo because it will infuriate him even further. Expect him to escalate.
Your attorney is not the one that is the target of your stbx's fury, you are. Trust yourself in being the best judge of knowing what you need to do to be safe.
If you stbx's name is on the house, he can not be forced to leave, therefore the protection order will not be valid.
Has he already moved out? If not you do not want to be there when he does or when he is forced to, if the house isn't in his name or on the lease.
Just because you temporarily leave the house, does not mean you are abandoning it, so don't let that be the attorny's excuse for why you should stay. Your life is more important than that house or any rule regarding possible so called abandonment.
you are not alone.
we care.
This is your life, not your attorney's. Your attorney's job is to find ways for you to get a result that is best for you and for your child, not a result that looks best to the attorney.
And in the meantime, do whatever you need to do to stay safe.
I don't know what the laws are where you live, but should you leave the house for the safety of you and your child, I really can't see how that could compromise any divorce settlement regarding the house...
Women's centres are really clued up on these things, and if I were you I'd chat with them about it.
Having a young child, battling depression and dealing with an abuser must be hell, so it's not surprising you're exhausted.
Take care.
If not, you have to trust your gut about your safety. You may either have to leave or go file that restraining order. It will take every ounce of strength you have, but as you know, you are fighting for 2 lives - yours and the life of your child.
You can do it!
Honestly, losing the house or some possessions is not the worst thing that can happen. If you file the order and move out, you can maybe show the judge that you were afraid and couldn't live in the house anymore. That may make a difference.
I know it is so hard when the depression hits. It's like your whole world is dumping down on you. But tell yourself you are going to do just this one thing and then you can relax.
I am sorry you are going through this. I hope you find peace soon.