Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Pasted in from today's
Wolf's Daily Howl
I generally concur with what Dr. Phil, Phil McGraw of t.v. fame says. But nobodys perfect. The other day he re-aired a show taped during his tenth season. And since I generally watch t.v. while doing something else, in the re-airing I caught something I may have missed the first time around.
In the episode on which Im commenting, the guests were a dating couple. The man had already been arrested for domestic violence in a now-ended marriage. Within his current relationship, hed been both verbally and physically violent, including hiding in the womans apartment and choking her.
Towards the end of the show, summarizing the issues of the relationship, Phil ran down a whole horrible list of emotional abuses that included the guy calling the woman every awful and objectionable thing, being jealous of her everyday activities, raging at her --- and on and on.
At the end of the list, Dr. Phil wrapped up saying (this is NOT an exact quote):
But none of those things bother me.
Whatever his exact words were --- I whooped in horror, hearing him summarily dismiss what we all know are blazing red flags for both emotional abuse and indicators of someone who is likely to become physically violent.
(What Dr. Phil called out as bothering him, was the abusers physical violence. Hed stepped right over the whole list of predictors that the abuser WOULD be physically violent ---- as, indeed ---- he had a long history of being.)
Its because the so-called experts, even one whos celebrating ten years on t.v., watched by millions of people, summarily dismiss both emotional abuse and the predictors of physical violence, that we end up living with and married to abusers who destroy the quality and longevity of our lives.
Wolf's Daily Howl
I generally concur with what Dr. Phil, Phil McGraw of t.v. fame says. But nobodys perfect. The other day he re-aired a show taped during his tenth season. And since I generally watch t.v. while doing something else, in the re-airing I caught something I may have missed the first time around.
In the episode on which Im commenting, the guests were a dating couple. The man had already been arrested for domestic violence in a now-ended marriage. Within his current relationship, hed been both verbally and physically violent, including hiding in the womans apartment and choking her.
Towards the end of the show, summarizing the issues of the relationship, Phil ran down a whole horrible list of emotional abuses that included the guy calling the woman every awful and objectionable thing, being jealous of her everyday activities, raging at her --- and on and on.
At the end of the list, Dr. Phil wrapped up saying (this is NOT an exact quote):
But none of those things bother me.
Whatever his exact words were --- I whooped in horror, hearing him summarily dismiss what we all know are blazing red flags for both emotional abuse and indicators of someone who is likely to become physically violent.
(What Dr. Phil called out as bothering him, was the abusers physical violence. Hed stepped right over the whole list of predictors that the abuser WOULD be physically violent ---- as, indeed ---- he had a long history of being.)
Its because the so-called experts, even one whos celebrating ten years on t.v., watched by millions of people, summarily dismiss both emotional abuse and the predictors of physical violence, that we end up living with and married to abusers who destroy the quality and longevity of our lives.
I am beginning to think that this should be taught in schools along with sex ed. I think that if young people heard about this as well as physical abuse, they would understand that it should not be tolerated by anyone.
Everyone on this site has dealt with it in some form. We know its real. Unfortunately it took us experiencing it ,to learn about it and then try to survive it.
Once, I remember my dad saying with a smile, 'You know, even yelling counts as abuse.' He got very tickled, apparently, reading an article on abuse, recognizing a lot of his behaviors and dismissing it all as ridiculous, touchy-feely. I mean, yelling. Who cares, right? He's the same one who said he doesn't have to say please or thank you to my mother because she's his wife.
My mom used to complain about him for hours, then dust herself off and say, 'Well, he's really a good man. At least he doesn't hit me.' So glad my kids don't have to hear those words from my mouth.