Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Maybe this isn't exactly on topic, but it does have a connection. And it is adding to my torment right now. Almost a month ago I lost a friend. It was an accidental overdose. She was only in her mid-thirties. She was about three years out of a violently abusive relationship. We had not been in touch much while she was in this relationship, but I knew of it through mutual friends. This past summer we had the chance to reconnect. I saw a change in her, a sadness. We talked about her experience...it was horrific. I saw what she was doing to herself, I didn't realize the extent. I tried talking to her about getting professional help and she seemed very put off by it so I dropped it. I'm not saying that she didn't have other issues. But I think her experience ate her up. She never got help. My heart breaks for this beautiful person, inside and out, and what might have been. It is really on my mind today...on top of everything else.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzyfcys1aLM
Come on try a little,
Nothing is forever,
There's got to be something better,
Than in the middle...
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Hugs }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I am right here with you. A few days will mark a year since a lady I knew was invalidated to the point where she took her own life.
I didn't know her well. Saw her socially two or three times, heard about all her struggles second hand, but I KNEW the situation intuitively and I knew it was a recipe for disaster and disaster struck!
In any case, I think I understand,l if I am perceiving your post correctly.
I look at it like this. We lost team members!
We lost them to the evil of invalidation and the evil way some humans choose to treat other humans! We must fight the good fight and stand up to invalidation and abuse. We must know that what other people tell us about ourselves is NOT the truth, it is evil trying to take away our power to be free.. We really need to be warriors.
Every time I think of the beautiful lady I knew.. I get so angry! Everyone can say.. "Oh, she had mental illness" and I think.. " mental illness my foot! she was driven to it by evil!!!! I dread an encounter with who I believe to be her "abuser" because I seriously need to try to feel compassion for him, and I'm not sure if I am that good of a person. It scares me, but I know he was a victim too and I saw this quote.. "Hurt people, Hurt people" and I know he is probably filled with regret and the only one happy now is the devil.
The best way to honor these women is to be Strong and refuse to be self destructive. When we practice self care we are playing the game for them and our win will be their win as well!
Sending good thoughts your way.
As hard as grief is to experience and process, I hope you will honor yourself and her by acknowledging, accepting & expressing your feelings. Please take really good care of yourself in every way.
((((((((((((healing hugs))))))))))))
loss. I'm so sorry.
Nineteen years ago
I lost a friend I called
a sister.
Though she'd been years
out of an abusive relationship,
she'd had struggles with a
bad back and had become
addicted to a variety of drugs.
I miss her to this day.
Those we've loved and
lost remain in our hearts
and the memory of their
lives continue on as long
as we keep the flame
that was their spirit
glowing within our
own spirit. That is
their legacy.