I have noticed that some of us have come from dysfunctional homes, be it parents, step-parents, siblings..etc. I grew up in a household that catered to an emotionally distant alcoholic father among other things. :(

I do not always have words to identify with or say I can understand each person's situation or their sadness, anger, or give advice.
I just wanted to share this poem I wrote to say I see you, that hurt, little child out there, and I am sending out hugs right now....


Fortress


You always look through me as if I'm not there..

breaking my spirit with you indifferent stare,

Honor roll student, your little girl never succeeded enough for you

Tell me to earn your respect, what must I do?



Tearing me down with your hurtful remarks..

like jagged glass they have cut deep into my heart,

those shards remain deep to twist and to tear

sometimes this burden is just too much to bear.



I have learned your affection comes with a price..

I have learned that parents do not always play nice,

I do not submit to what I feel is your control

and so in fact I dig my own hole.



I look in your eyes and know I am not good enough..

I look at the rest of them and wonder why I cannot measure up?

Led by example, I have learned love equals pain,

I cannot see my rainbows for you have left nothing but rain.



You've taught me well, oh my Daddy dear

That life is not always crystal clear..

I have learned not to allow another into my heart,

for once I do they just rip it apart.



So I watch and I wait as time ticks on by..

keep the pain way down deep, cause ya know Good Girls don't cry,

Best to hide behind the walls of my fortress so strong..

Than to face these dark demons I have had all along. JL