There are those who function like that-truly believing their own crap.

There is NO reality in that place, but it is also pointless to try to convince them.
You will wear yourself out mentally and emotionally. The best thing to do is to call IT what IT is.... a LIE, and ignore the goobledy-gock that comes with their denial.

You will not get a favorable response but the bottom line is that you are letting that person know you aren't buying their crap.

Liars may not live in reality but that doesn't mean YOU have to.

Blessings

Being out of the most abusive relationship for many years now, I almost have to laugh at the things he convinced himself of. It was so pathetic and sad. I have no doubt he still believes in his reality, not the truth.

I think abusers are pathological liars...to themselves as well as to everyone around them. Keep the faith hon and hugs to you.

Yes. Never forget that his reality is very real to him, which makes it that much more dangerous.

This thread hit home. Boy, did it ever. There truly IS no reality here, just like Womnufgod said -- and, also, it's pointless to try to convince them otherwise.

Applying to my own experience -- nothing I say or do to address any points of sense about my wife's current mental/emotional state and behavior ever sticks (the "Teflon syndrome", as I've started calling it) -- yet the stream of projections, non sequiturs, denials, deflections, delusions, and general flights of fancy (all of which she seems to believe) are enough to create a serious challenge to my attempts of maintaining balance and (at best) neutrality. It's gotten to the point where I'm just tempted to simply nod my head cheerfully and say, "yes, you're absolutely right," rather than engage in more futile attempts to point out alternatives to her.

And yes, it can be draining mentally and emotionally.

Unfortunately, I haven't yet created enough distance between me and her (we still live in the same house, along with our two children) for a consistent attempt at perspective -- oftentimes (such as today) I truly have to bite my tongue in order to not unleash my frustrations -- doing which, I suppose, might well be tantamount to "taking the bait" and further validating her views. Nothing is ever her responsibility -- you see, it was her family situation that has dissolved our marriage, and it is now my seeming inability to "think positively" (about someone who, for years, has been acting towards me in emotionally abusive and even crazy-making ways, mind you...) that is seemingly keeping her from making any progress with her life. Yes, heavy on the sarcasm here...but, in my view, unwillingness to accept ANY responsibility for her actions is a type of lie as well. What a beautiful set-up, though -- what a perfect way to stay stuck and never move forward, never accept responsibility, and yet always have someone to blame! The negative manifestations of her life are someone else's fault -- and the lack of positive manifestations are also someone else's fault!

My apologies for temporarily hijacking this thread -- as I was writing my words, some strong feelings came to the front, and I thought I should let them flow. But I hope I've at least managed to maintain some connection to the original intent -- that an abuser's reality is far removed from anything resembling reality, and attempts to even so much as to plant a seed to any alternative notion are about as guaranteed an exericise in crazy-making as any.

I wish you strength. Lord knows many of us have needed it in situations such as these...

There is no reality in a pathological liars mind.I know,I have a family full of them.They tell lie after lie,and then have to tell more to cover the ones they already said.....-It turns into one huge gugundo lie and at some point they lose touch with reality.They run all over telling people these lies,and the next thing you know,people are looking at you with stinkeye.and your like what the hell at first,because you haven't fiured out that lies are being told,and them comes the mortification,not knowing if people believe them or not,then the explaining oneself to others and then finally people figure it out-that the person telling the lies is goofy,and that they are Lies.But after all this has gone on,you become physically and ever so emotionally draineddddddddddddd.Just like water going down the sink,DRAINED!!!!!!!!!!! You have to regroup and pick up these pieces of this horrific emotional abuse-for that is what it is and start a fresh.It's not easy dealing with these people.My family breeds pathie's.They can ruin so many things and start so much trouble with these lies,unti people figure them out,but by then,alot of damage has been done..The only thing I can think that might stop him is too send a threatening letter from your attorney that he will be sued for defamation of character.Some of these people have to be scared quiet.it usually works because they are so narssisstic, they fear damage to their oh so perfect reputations.So I hope this stops.No one needs lies being told about them.We have enough troubles in life.Sending you light,love,strenght,and a smile. :0)

Personally I find it hilarious to bring up things in conversation that he has said in the past(usually unimportant details but lies of his nonetheless) and watch him squirm trying to remember exactly what he had told me. Or sit and listen to him add onto the story more because what he just told me didn't match what he said before and now he's gotta explain himself.

I have actually just giggled as he talks sometimes.

Im such a b*tch!

The best way to tell a convincing lie, is first to be convinced yourself. Those are the best liars. People who are bad liars know they're telling a lie.