Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Sorry, I'm off work today and instead of doing the things I "should" be doing, I'm sitting here reading posts and getting inside my own head for a while. I'm just wondering if anyone else has reached this point, and how do you get out of this "state".
Ordinarily, probably much to everyone's surprise on here after hearing my experiences and what I have put up with for so long, I am pretty much a go-getter. What I mean by this is if I decide I want to get a new job because I'm not liking the old one so much or am ready for a change, I just do it. When I decided I wanted to get my degree finally, I just did it. When I know it is time to leave (unfortunately it is never for long enough) I just start making plans and do it--not letting "little" things like no money, no job, no house, or an unfamiliar area stand in my way--I just take on the obstacles and move forward. Even at my absolute worst, when things have really been shit in my life and this relationship, I have always been able to pull myself up and move forward.
I cannot seem to get it together this time. I keep writing, keep thinking, and keep "talking" to you guys and people at work--yes, I had to tell them the situation when I moved this last time in case he showed up (which of course he did). I feel so "stuck" and really unsure what to do or how to go about it. I have NEVER in my entire life felt like this. I don't feel suicidal or anything like that and I don't feel depressed, I just feel blah. I can't seem to put one foot in front of the other and kick myself in the ass enough to get the ball rolling. I feel like "for what", I always end up stuck with him again anyway. I need a shake up and I can't seem to do it myself.
Has anyone gotten to this point? Even after multiple attempts at moving out and on? If so, what did you do to change it? I can't even seem to make the phone calls that will lead to the assistance that will help me get through this. What the hell is wrong with me?!
Ordinarily, probably much to everyone's surprise on here after hearing my experiences and what I have put up with for so long, I am pretty much a go-getter. What I mean by this is if I decide I want to get a new job because I'm not liking the old one so much or am ready for a change, I just do it. When I decided I wanted to get my degree finally, I just did it. When I know it is time to leave (unfortunately it is never for long enough) I just start making plans and do it--not letting "little" things like no money, no job, no house, or an unfamiliar area stand in my way--I just take on the obstacles and move forward. Even at my absolute worst, when things have really been shit in my life and this relationship, I have always been able to pull myself up and move forward.
I cannot seem to get it together this time. I keep writing, keep thinking, and keep "talking" to you guys and people at work--yes, I had to tell them the situation when I moved this last time in case he showed up (which of course he did). I feel so "stuck" and really unsure what to do or how to go about it. I have NEVER in my entire life felt like this. I don't feel suicidal or anything like that and I don't feel depressed, I just feel blah. I can't seem to put one foot in front of the other and kick myself in the ass enough to get the ball rolling. I feel like "for what", I always end up stuck with him again anyway. I need a shake up and I can't seem to do it myself.
Has anyone gotten to this point? Even after multiple attempts at moving out and on? If so, what did you do to change it? I can't even seem to make the phone calls that will lead to the assistance that will help me get through this. What the hell is wrong with me?!
I think sometimes your mind and body may need to have a re-set, so to speak. Just some time to be BLAH and hibernate. Your drive will pick back up. Listen to your body, it knows what it needs. And it sounds like it needs a break.
If it motivates you, it's very very good at the end of the tunnel of getting out. It feels good to free yourself. Be safe, be kind to yourself. Quote from The Help: I repeat this alot: I am kind, I am smart and I am important!!!!!
You can change that. You can decide it is the last time.
I really do understand the lack of motivation as i am struggling with it too, but not about getting out of an abusive relationship but on finding more work. I feel discouraged from already trying and not getting hired yet. It sounds like you feel discouraged too. When you have moved out and on, for how long? Did you even stay gone long enough to see and feel all of the advantages of being away from abuse? Did you give yourself time to really start to enjoy your life separate from him? I think maybe what might help you is to think about and write out all of those things that will be good when you are out and how much better your life will be when you aren't putting up with and tolerating unacceptable abusive behavior. And make a detailed plan of how you are going to get out and financially survive after you leave. Start taking the steps you need to to make it happen. In my case realistically I need more job training before I'll be qualified for a different line of work. maybe you have steps you need to take too.
if you have things placed in front of you to look forward to, a list of those things and you really focus on them, maybe that will help you to gain the motivation to start taking the steps to leave.