Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, Mark is moving our double parlor all around so he can have "his office" in the larger room while I move into the smaller one. We also have a smallish room off to the side that he's been using as an office for 22 years. That will be the winter bedroom.
So here I am with a broken ankle , and he's going ahead moving things. I am trying to figure out where to put some of my clothes downstairs in case the ankle doesn't get better soon. I simply asked him if he had a drawer he wasn't using, and he went off " I live here too. We've had that room ( the one he's moving into ) set up that way for 15 years. " Also, "you have enough room downstairs to put your clothes- if there's a mess down here, it's because of all your stuff". I have "my stuff" (craft things mostly" all put away, but because I have it, it's 'my stuff". I"m trying to figure out a way to move the craft things out of their drawers so I could put clothes there, but he's not willing to help me find boxes, etc.
Again, "it's your stuff, If you want me to get a banker's box from the attic , I will, But that better be all you need".
He's just so angry. I think a lot of it is because of the ankle messing up his plans. (But then 20 mins. later he's talking about how concerned he is about me going to church and getting around on crutches ). Does this sound familiar? Holly
So here I am with a broken ankle , and he's going ahead moving things. I am trying to figure out where to put some of my clothes downstairs in case the ankle doesn't get better soon. I simply asked him if he had a drawer he wasn't using, and he went off " I live here too. We've had that room ( the one he's moving into ) set up that way for 15 years. " Also, "you have enough room downstairs to put your clothes- if there's a mess down here, it's because of all your stuff". I have "my stuff" (craft things mostly" all put away, but because I have it, it's 'my stuff". I"m trying to figure out a way to move the craft things out of their drawers so I could put clothes there, but he's not willing to help me find boxes, etc.
Again, "it's your stuff, If you want me to get a banker's box from the attic , I will, But that better be all you need".
He's just so angry. I think a lot of it is because of the ankle messing up his plans. (But then 20 mins. later he's talking about how concerned he is about me going to church and getting around on crutches ). Does this sound familiar? Holly
Why? Because he can, because he's an abuser, because he thinks it will get him some form of control or other benefit. Why? What matters is that he's treating you like crap, and you are NOT crap.
You're a diamond, and he's treating you worse than cut glass. Does it really matter why?
Like others have said, don't bother questioning why. A normal thinking person can't always figure out why an abnormal person acts the way they do. Once you start trying to figure it out, it can really weigh you down. It's burdensome. Sometimes you just have to let it be at that - he's abusive, or he has some other issues, that's all there is to it.
The why doesn't matter so much, in the end. What matters is the outward action, and what you see before you. There's a pretty good chance that HE doesn't even know why. I swear, I can't figure out my ex, and am beginning to think that's a good thing.