Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I honestly don't even know how to begin in this journal. I guess I will start with introductions. My name is Holly D. and I have been a victim of physical, emotional, and mental abuse for approximately 10 years. Although unless asked, I won't be opening up the Pandora's box for some of that time because I have nightmares every time I do, I'm going to start with what's been happening to me most recently. I have been in a relationship with a sociopath for nearly 8 years of my life now. I have left her twice, and 2 weeks ago, I left her again( hopefully for the last time). The worst part about it is that we were in bisexual/gay( I have no intentions to offend anyone) relationship and I have or was ( hopefully) been in love with her for a very long time now. The sad part about it is that I did a report on Sociopaths in college a few years ago and realized that she fit every single trait on that list and I STILL stayed with her. I do not hate her and I never will but it is the hardest thing to let go of something that was at one point so precious to you; and the irony of it is that when you do move on it is even more difficult for you to hold on to someone that IS good to you. We have been homeless on many different occasions and I have watched her do time in and out of jail. I have done things with her that I would normally never do if it was me making the decision. She is a hustler, master manipulater, deceiver and the worst part about this whole thing is that SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING TO PEOPLE and she is fine with it. If anyone out there is dealing with or has dealt with something similar please understand that they even know what they are doing to YOU, no matter what they say. She takes peoples lives and sucks them dry, using them for her own benefit and moving on the next one. I must admit, sometimes situations called for money because of us being out on the street and she would hustle so that we would have a place to stay, but even when we had finances and housing she would still do it. When I left her about 3 years ago she was on a suicide mission. She had lost her kids and tried to kill herself with anything and everything she could get her hands on. I stayed as long as I could, but I told her that I couldn't take it anymore. I dropped out of college, lost a number of jobs, and even a few of my closest friends because of her and I hate it. Then I saw her again last year and she seemed ok, which was my big mistake, I guess. I thought that I could save her but I can't. And that's the point, no one can save them because they don't want to be saved. Anyway, I'm very sorry that this was so long-winded but I guess that is what this support group is for lol if anyone is going through something like this or you need anything any input would be appreciated. Even "you're an idiot" lol. I know what I have to do now it is just so horrible that I have to go through this again and start from scratch again. This is the last time.
Hugs and Hopes,
Holly D
Hugs and Hopes,
Holly D
You are trying to worry about you and that is okay because even if you could help her where would she be without you???
You can't help her... I don't know the whole story but I am sure if she wanted to kill herself she would be dead, it is all a way to play that she is the victim so she gets anyone she can to support and take care of her, trust me I am not a sociopath but I have thought about suicide more than once and there are many ways that you can do it an truly make it happen but there are also ways you can make it seem like you are trying to do it but realistically you know you either won't die from what you are doing or you know that someone will be there to save you in time....
DO NOT play into her drama....
Worry about YOU, you have a life to life and have the potential to be a wonderful, amazing, successful, loving, caring, helpful....(ect) person..... she has her own two feet make her walk on them....
I know that at times everyone needs help but until they are truly sincere about getting it, no matter what you do it won't help, especially if the person is a sociopath, (they know how to work people the best, trust me I know, I was with one for almost 3 years)
Move forward for you not her!!!! I don't care who you love, male/female, it is still love!!!
Keep us up to date, and good luck, Be Strong!!!!
If it is meant to be it will be!!!
I felt like an idiot too after a decade and two kids with my abuser. We aren't though. We are just kind and caring people who want to think the best of everyone. We want to believe people can change for the better. We feel hope. Unfortunately none of that works with sociopaths.
You are right, we can't save them and they don't want to be saved. They love what they are.
I hope you stick around here and please feel free to vent. It's amazing how much anger can build up inside.
She will not change, no matter what she says or how she seems. Oh yeah, and you are neither an idiot (we've all been there, most of us have gone back at least once, many of us several times), nor will we be in any way offended by your sexual orientation. In this group, we are all survivors of abuse - regardless of age, orientation, gender, race or anything else.