Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Okay, I will spare you guys the background story this time:-) Just a quick bit of info that is relevant to this discussion:
Sex ceased to be enjoyable for me nearly 14 years ago, at least with my h. It has never been about intimacy or my needs, but rather I end up feeling like a prostitute who exists simply to fulfill my "duty" as his prey. That being said, in the 18 years we've been together, he has never allowed more than a couple days to go between "sessions".
Until the past few months. Now nearly a week will go by without him expecting anything in the bedroom; then he will start to moan and groan and complain about how long it has been and how this is my fault--I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be; although history has shown me that if I initiate....oh boy! I'm nothing but a wh*** and on and on--in short, he uses that as an excuse to further abuse.
Anyway, it has now been more than two weeks. I realize he is still carrying a lot of anger over the Valentine's Day incident (when my brother was at the house when he got here), but really......When I get in the bed, he immediately rolls over and ignores me. He worked on my car Sunday, but aside from throwing the receipts at me, there has been no conversation about it. There's nothing.
Ordinarily, this would be just fine with me, but I can seriously feel the tension and anger emanating off of him every second. It is like a literal physical presence in our home right now. I feel like the fly caught in the spider's web, just waiting for the spider to come eat me. It sucks. Part of me hopes and wonders if he is engaging in his own detaching process and maybe, just maybe, will spare me the fleeing and uprooting our children, but another part of me is just freaked out right now.
I have been so proud of my newfound strength and rediscovering myself, then along comes this new behavior that I can't quite figure out. It is leaving me walking on eggshells all over again. Has anyone experienced this and what the hell does it mean!?!? I'm a mess right now, unsure if I should try to engage him, sort of poke the dragon to get it over with, or run for the hills sooner than I thought. Maybe he really has found another supply and he is going to leave me and my kids alone?! Is that too much to hope for?!
Any advice or recommendations would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for listening again:-)
Sex ceased to be enjoyable for me nearly 14 years ago, at least with my h. It has never been about intimacy or my needs, but rather I end up feeling like a prostitute who exists simply to fulfill my "duty" as his prey. That being said, in the 18 years we've been together, he has never allowed more than a couple days to go between "sessions".
Until the past few months. Now nearly a week will go by without him expecting anything in the bedroom; then he will start to moan and groan and complain about how long it has been and how this is my fault--I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be; although history has shown me that if I initiate....oh boy! I'm nothing but a wh*** and on and on--in short, he uses that as an excuse to further abuse.
Anyway, it has now been more than two weeks. I realize he is still carrying a lot of anger over the Valentine's Day incident (when my brother was at the house when he got here), but really......When I get in the bed, he immediately rolls over and ignores me. He worked on my car Sunday, but aside from throwing the receipts at me, there has been no conversation about it. There's nothing.
Ordinarily, this would be just fine with me, but I can seriously feel the tension and anger emanating off of him every second. It is like a literal physical presence in our home right now. I feel like the fly caught in the spider's web, just waiting for the spider to come eat me. It sucks. Part of me hopes and wonders if he is engaging in his own detaching process and maybe, just maybe, will spare me the fleeing and uprooting our children, but another part of me is just freaked out right now.
I have been so proud of my newfound strength and rediscovering myself, then along comes this new behavior that I can't quite figure out. It is leaving me walking on eggshells all over again. Has anyone experienced this and what the hell does it mean!?!? I'm a mess right now, unsure if I should try to engage him, sort of poke the dragon to get it over with, or run for the hills sooner than I thought. Maybe he really has found another supply and he is going to leave me and my kids alone?! Is that too much to hope for?!
Any advice or recommendations would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for listening again:-)
None of it was real. He was trying to get me to beg and agree to all of his demand and when I didn't he caved. I'm certain that your husband thought you wouldn't really leave. I would bet my last dollar on it (when I get paid tomorrow, I'm broke today lol). The first incident I was excited, thinking he was finally seeing me free. After that I just got annoyed because he left me with all the work of calming our kids and then literally cleaning up the mess he left during his "move back in", although he NEVER actually left!!! Good for you for not falling for his tactics, but I'm sorry you're still dealing with the fallout.