I am in the process of getting the divorce petition drawn up and my lawyer asked for witnesses. Because I was so isolated, I only had a 2 friends (more like acquaintances) here, other women in the community that I would get together with for tea, etc. A week before I gave birth, my husband and I got into a fight (his tea was too hot, god forbid!) and he hit me in my arm several times, in front of his mother. I showed his mother later on where he left marks and of course she took his side and said it was my fault. I tried to take pictures as evidence but he took my phone and deleted them. Well, anyway, the next day I was so upset, I went to see one of these friends and I told her what had happened and asked for some advice, given that my due date was a week later.

Now that the violence has occurred again (in front of our baby) and I left him and Im seeking divorce I called this friend to see if she would provide a witness statement about when I came to see her and she is now acting all hesitant and she probably wont do it. Basically, she said she doesnt want to get involved in something she isnt 100% sure about and she doesnt want to attest against my husband when there werent any marks on my arms or anything like that, and the fact that she didnt actually witness him hitting me in my arm. I had another conversation with her today about it and she said she still wasnt sure, she was going to check with her husband. (Which is another thing that pisses me off cant she just decide for herself? Why does she need his permission anyway?) Then she went into about when she thinks about domestic violence that in her head that means bruises on the face and punching and things like that making a little slap here or there or hitting me on my arm or pulling my hair seem like a petty thing that shouldnt be considered violence and thats another reason she isnt sure if she will write a testimony. I explained to her that domestic violence can be anything, even if it is something as minor as a slap, and it definitely includes insults and psychological abuse, something Ive dealt with our entire marriage.

I am just so shocked at the lack of support from my so-called friends. I almost wish the violence HAD been worse and that he did punch me in the face so someone would take me seriously. All that I have is my family and my lawyer on my side, and thats about it. I just want justice to be served. Im tired of people making excuses for my stbx and making it seem like Im making a big deal out of nothing and that hes somehow the victim in this, not me.

How do you deal with the lack of support? How do you deal with no one taking you seriously? How do you deal with people downplaying the violence? I am starting to have doubts that even the judge will take me seriously and that this is all going to backfire and my stbx is going to laugh in my face.

Im just having a really hard time holding it all together lately