I survived a tough 12 months and took my first step towards freeing myself from an abusive marriage in December.

I went from many nights of praying to die, to surviving my first twelve months without my abuser.

I grew mentally, spiritually, and found hope because of a group of women on this site who gave me back my reason to live by validating me.

I have a garden of hugs from women all around the world who took a chance to reach out and save a lost soul from this abuse.

Thank you llene in so many ways!

i found DS & this group, which is AWESOME.

for the first time in my life, i communicate with people who really know & understand what i'm facing, & even educate me more about it & how to deal with it & heal it.

for me, that's as a 'mountain weight' burden which has been removed from above me, &
i saw the right orientation for the first time in my life after years & years struggeling in the darkness not knowing what's truth, & having everyone lying to me about it in order to abuse me the way s/he wants.

i've been here for 2 months, in which i learned & HEALED more than i did in my whole life.

that's more than enough to me to be grateful for in this year.

thanks llene for the thread.

I got out of a very unhealthy relationship that was going downhill very quickly.

I am learning more and more about myself each day. I have begun to realize that self-care should be in my to-do list everyday (not HIS care!) I have realized that,( yes!) I can fulfill my dream of obtaining a very difficult fellowship spot. I have discovered the world of food blogging and found a new passion! I have also realized that maybe it won't be so bad being on my own for a while...that 2010 will probably be the biggest year for me as far as self-growth and healing goes. In 2010, I aim to completely sever ties with my stbx, by divorcing him and turning 30 with a new set of eyes and a new and improved soul.

Ilene, I spent this morning sad, shameful, and overwhelmed. I thought about 2008's New Years Eve, and even though we were at a party together (with the same crowd, the same booze, the same drugs), I knew that I was somehow not happy with my situation, but I couldn't put my finger on it. In the past year, I have made the realization that I was in an abusive relationship-that clarity is the biggest gift of all.

Anyways, I know this is long, but, I wanted to say thanks for the post. It really allowed me to see how far I have come and that even on days like today, when I am feeling low, I am making progress.

Happy New Years, everyone!

May 2010 bring you self-love, joy, and peace!

Scout

Thank you for this thread Ilene!!!! It's another facet of the Convergence of coinSIGNdences for me and another opportunity to practice gratitude.

I found the best therapist who is helping me to heal from the inside out. The way it happened is nothing short of a miracle.

I have the best Reiki practitioner for whom I am deeply grateful on so many levels.

I'm learning how to stay in the NOW.

I've learned so much about gratitude...and the more I see, the more I see (to be thankful for)

I KNOW there are no coincidences, only coinSIGNdences.

I'm more accepting - I don't know why he does what he does & it doesn't matter because what he does isn't about me, it's about him. He is who he is and I can't change him.

I'm just starting to learn to let go & detach with love.

I'm in the process of forgiving & among my prayers/petitions are some for his healing. I never thought I would get this far...

I'm focusing on abundance of physical, emotional, mental & spiritual health; family & friends; and financial.

I'm practicing meditation and affirmations.

I got my adult son back :-) (long story, but suffice to say his father's influence has dwindled).

I like who I am becoming.

I have DS (for 2 1/2 yrs now) which has been & continues to be my saving grace.

Thru everything I managed to keep & nurture my sense of humor.

I have experienced moments of pure joy

I recently had a few moments of something I couldn't describe, but finally recognized as peace.


I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your love & support, caring & insight. Even those of you with whom I haven't personally interacted. I read way more posts than I respond to and I take something away from each of them.

This is THE most AWESOME group on DS!!! I wish you all love & joy & peace & healing in 2010 and beyond. Happy New Year everyone!

Hugs!!!

I let other people help me.

*I've found DS which has a wonderful source of support and comfort
*I've maintained my schooling despite everything that has happend this year
*I've found strength within to seperate myself physically from my abusive partner, emotionally I have not ( still longing to go back)

Wow! Thanks for the thread! 2009 was a big big year for me. But I would have to say that my biggest accomplishment was figuring out HOW to divorce H even though I'm stuck in this country, and following through, including finally getting him to stop contesting it. So, the divorce is currently in progress and I am living under my own roof (not his) which makes a huge difference. I can feel that 2010 is going to bring some really good things to my life, especially peace and acceptance. And lessening of all of the fears that have plagued me. Best to all of you where you are right now. Remember that no matter how hopeless it seems and no matter how used up you feel, tomorrow is always another day!

I got a job I enjoy.
I found out I'm not alone (thanks DS).
I physically got out of an abusive relationship (not out of it
mentally or emoitonally though)

I finally got out of my very unhealthy relationship and started a new life. You all have helped me through some difficult times. Thank you for that.

I had a major operation and got through it without my ex who suddenly left me on the night of the op.
I discovered that the wayin which my friends have helped me this year and supported me when he wasn't there anymore was worth so much it fills me with gratitude and love for them. it makes me feel that their caring was on a level with that of my ex, and with any lover i could find, which i didn't realise before because they all had partners and i thought they meant more to them, but no, its just they never had the chance to show me before their love for me.

I began to really open up to this group and interact. it is my beacon that i can always come back to whenever i am sad or uncertain and it is the most amazing support i could ever have. I say it, but of course it is made u pof wonderful people and i thank you all.

Finally, I think I have come along way this year mentally. after all, i couldn't tell you the number of times i wished I was dead this year. and look! i am still here! physically separated from my abusive ex and yes, struggling with the mental and emotional part but, stil here and, definitely more stable for the physical separation.
an through all of this awful turmoil, particularly in the last six months, i have managed to maintain my job and learn a bit about cooking and got closer to some friends and started to become more like the old me again. yes, he knocks me down hard and i feel i am nothing but, self-acceptance is the key.

next year i want to focus more on trying to accept that it's OK not to go back regardless of whether he has changed, and also to try to accept the hardest thing of all which is that he understood what he was doing despite him saying he didn't know and was out of control, and to accept that he is stil being abusive even now because he will not let me go. love surely should not hurt the other.

I survived an attack by my husband.

I filed for divoce and got away from him. Finally admited that I was being emotionally abused for years.

I made friends and started doing things for myself.

I am in therapy and getting my life back!

I found the strength to move to my own place, just the kids and I. Although I love my parents dearly, there is no room for growth staying here and I NEED to stand on my own feet, even when they are very wobbly!

I also found DS and even though new here, it has helped me through the holiday and given me so much comfort and hope for the next year.