Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi everyone, this is my first time on this site. Today has been a bad day so I decided to try and find something new I've never tried to help a little.
I have recently "ended" my 6 year relationship with a physically/emotionally abusive boyfriend. We have a 4 year old son together. I say "ended" because I never really feel like it's over. I always let him back in. I can't stop. I feel like I love him still so much. I know what he's doing is wrong but I feel like I've done wrong also and that I deserve it. I don't know how to stop that. One day I think I'm fine without him and the next I'm texting him apologizing and trying to get him back. I feel like a fool but I miss him. I've been to therapy and it hasn't helped much. I don't know what to do and feel that talking to people who are in similar situations might help me.
One day he loves me and misses me and the next he's calling me every name in the book and telling me he hates me and never wants to see me again. I feel like it's never going to stop. He blames me for everything. I'm just so lost right now. None of my friends think I talk to him, I'm too embarrassed to tell them I do. Not to mention they'd probably stop talking to me if I was with him again. I'm so torn and upset I just need some support from someone who knows what it's like.
if anyone takes the time to read this I appreciate it and any advice or words would help! Thank you.
going through this.
Apparently the counselor with
whom you worked, wasn't the
right counselor for you, or it
probably would have helped.
She or he could have been
wrong for you for at least a
half dozen reasons, the first
one being that she or he
wasn't trained and experienced
in how to support recovery from
abuse.
Still feeling bonded to an
abuser, especially after
you've gotten some
distance, is not a
weakness but the
result of millions of
years of evolution. . . .
which often compels
an individual to remain
in a partnership,
even if it's abusive.
But there are ways to
over-ride that compulsion.
It takes training and
experience to know
what those ways are.
Adding a child to the
mix here is a serious
factor in getting yourself
to a point where ended
means ENDED.
If there's a women's
center in your area,
I urge you to make
a visit there and see
if they can help you
really begin the process
of moving to an emotional
place where being abused
is not merely intolerable
but inconceivable. Until
you do, you'll spend too
much of your life living
with abuse, and your
child will likely follow
in your footsteps. Most
boys who grow up witnessing
abuse, copy the behavior of
the abuser. Some go in the
opposite direction and when
they grow up, settle down
with abusive partners.
If you address this now,
he may be able to grow
up and have healthy
relationships. (Also,
some children who
grow up watching
their mother abused
become "deputized"
and end up abusing
their mother, with the
blessing of the original
abuser.)
My advice to you would
be to immediately seek
out a therapist who
SPECIALIZES
in recovery from abuse.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
better days.
You have come to the right place. You will get great advice and best of all support and understanding from others who have been through EXACTLY the same thing. There are good days and bad. Some very bad....but come here and let people know whats going on. alot of knowledge and love here. Hope today is a good one for you.