Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Havent been on for few days. Im doing pretty well i think as im putting myself first for a change.
my husband on the other hand is still trying to mess with my head.still.
Even tho police are involved , my husband is very cunning and still manages to get to me in any way he can.
He has numerous ohone numbers and i block each one soon as i know its him.
He still sits in his car outside my house if im not there, as soon as i drive into my street i see him. By time police come he has gone. it is so intimidating.
I now leave work early in case he is hanging around by my car when i finish, which he has done.
He has hacked into my computer and i have had to change passwords and install better security
He looks through my letterbox. and sometimes leaves notes on my car wipers or shoves them through my door
when i see him he is always crying and begging by my car or window at home.
It tugs at my heartstrings at times as he looks dreadful, but he caused all this, not me.
I can block his calls no problem but the texts come through from different numbers and they are him pleading and begging to come home. And asking me. why are you doing this to me?
He did this. I try not to read the texts and its hard not to respond and give him a piece of my mind.
Everything is still being logged, and the numbers he uses
I dont think he will ever leave me alone unless he gets locked up.
injunction is not enough anymore.
my husband on the other hand is still trying to mess with my head.still.
Even tho police are involved , my husband is very cunning and still manages to get to me in any way he can.
He has numerous ohone numbers and i block each one soon as i know its him.
He still sits in his car outside my house if im not there, as soon as i drive into my street i see him. By time police come he has gone. it is so intimidating.
I now leave work early in case he is hanging around by my car when i finish, which he has done.
He has hacked into my computer and i have had to change passwords and install better security
He looks through my letterbox. and sometimes leaves notes on my car wipers or shoves them through my door
when i see him he is always crying and begging by my car or window at home.
It tugs at my heartstrings at times as he looks dreadful, but he caused all this, not me.
I can block his calls no problem but the texts come through from different numbers and they are him pleading and begging to come home. And asking me. why are you doing this to me?
He did this. I try not to read the texts and its hard not to respond and give him a piece of my mind.
Everything is still being logged, and the numbers he uses
I dont think he will ever leave me alone unless he gets locked up.
injunction is not enough anymore.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
The book I just read talks about stalking and one point he emphasizes strongly is DON'T ENGAGE. If your ex calls you 30 times and the 31st time you finally answer him -- what he learns is that the price of talking to you is 30 phone calls. That's a price he is happy to pay. The only way he's going to get out of your life without getting locked up in jail or some kind of violence is if you don't respond to him at all. Let the police or a lawyer do the responding for you.
If you change your phone number he'll just get the new number in time, so one idea I read recently is for the person being stalked to get a second phone number. Give the new phone number to trusted friends and family or anyone else you need to talk to, and just leave the old number for your ex. Put that number on an answering machine all the time, and save all the messages he leaves.
Here are some other links you might find helpful:
http://www.nytimes.com/1998/08/25/science/personal-health-do-s-and-don-ts-for-thwarting-stalker.html
http://www.nhcadsv.org/internet_safety.cfm
http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center
And a forum just for victims of stalking:
http://stalkingvictims.com/phpbb3/index.php?sid=c291746b2da0887f5fd4771760b7903d
Take care of yourself and good luck!
If the thought of hearing his voice on the machine when he call is too much to take, perhaps you could put the machine in another room where you won't hear it and/or cover it with a heavy blanket to muffle the sound.
Or perhaps you could arrange to have all the calls to that number forwarded to a friend's house -- and then have your friend record all his messages on an answering machine and save the tapes. Just as long as he doesn't realize you're forwarding the calls and you got a second phone number.
Just a thought. Take care.
Here's an idea: Would it be possible -- even for a little while -- for you to have all the calls to your business line answered by or forwarded to somebody else? If it's your ex, that person will hang up (and record the time and phone number) but if it's a client, they can tell the client to call you at (new phone number, perhaps a cell phone number). And when it's not business hours, they can record all his calls on an answering machine and save the tapes to document what he is doing. Just an idea.
Another idea would be to put a camera outside your house, pointed at the area where he usually parks...that will give you evidence you can show the police that he is in violation of the injunction.
Please keep in mind that every time you respond to him, you GUARANTEE that he will keep harassing you. Every response from you, even an angry one, is like hitting the jackpot for him and ensures that he will keep coming back for more. He wants a relationship, ANY relationship with you -- and if he cannot be your husband or friend, he will settle for being your enemy.
Please stay strong and take good care of yourself.
In the meantime, however, I'm worried about the damage which is being done to you during this time. Even a blow defended against takes its toll. Is there a way, perhaps, to bring your concerns to the police? See if they can keep a watch on your house BEFORE you get home and call them?
You don't deserve this. Please make every effort to fill your life with light and joy to bolster your spirit against him as well. Praying for you!
in your country.
You are being stalked
and harrassed. In the
U.S., that's a crime.
Can you pursue a legal
remedy, starting with a
legal order of NO CONTACT?
Please find out if that's
possible. And also,
be sure to
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.
Sending you hugs
and prayers for safety
and healing.