Let's face when we come to this site, it is because we are full of negative feelings. If we were happy and full of positive energy we wouldn't be looking for help and encouragement.
We come to this site "lost, alone, and in pain". Do we hope to find the strength and hope to keep going? Absolutely, that's why we are here. When we get here, do we have an instant revelation that the world is suddenly a wonderful place? No, that take time and hard work.
When I first came to this site, back in August, I did feel like I would be lost forever. Today, I still feel lost but I have the hope to find myself again, one day. My journey has just begun. Do I see my username as who I am today? No. I see it as where I was when I started and that is something I don't want to forget. I need to remember how I felt when I was with him so that I don't make the same mistake again.

I don't use a negative username. Still, I think it can serve as a great personal reminder to the people who do. For example, this is how I was feeling when I joined the site, and this is how I am feeling now (which is evident in the posts when you read them). Sometimes, I think it is a great way to acknowledge the past and yet remind oneself of the progress that has been made when posting in the present. This is just an opinion, of course, but I think it is an interesting topic.

Hi henry ----

You bring up an interesting point.

I understand your observation, and I do agree to a point.

I also agree with the other posters.

Further, I DISagree with the popular notion that examining negative aspects of our life or of our past history --- inevitably dooms us to absolute, on-going negativity.

My position is that we MUST examine what's in the shadows to arrive at enlightenment.

I agree with you, henry, that for some people ---- certainly for me ---- it helps my forward movement to identify myself positively rather than negatively. If you've noticed the icon I use, it's the logo for Healing Emotionally Abused Lives, with the acronym: HEAL.

On the board I moderate, someone came on, a while back, identifying herself as: Emotional Abuse. Ironically, she turned out to still be so profoundly wounded, she was, indeed, emotionally abusive, and we asked her to not post again.

For others, reference to the past honors their history and values, rather than dismissing it. If that's what helps re-empower them, then that's what's appropriate.

That's my opinion.

Best to all.

Ilene

Ilene brings up a good point about the icons. When I first started on the site, my icon was shattered glass. I later changed it to a spiders web. Today, my icon is the phoenix. I see myself now as being able to rise up from the ashes that my life was at one time. While my name may not change, my vision of myself certainly has.

Sometimes, it's very hard for me to read some of the posts out there, it's just heartbreaking.
I think everyone's at different stages in their healing process, and need to have a place to come and freely express themselves. This may be the first time in their lives that they can stand up and say they feel like hell, and they need to talk about it. This might be refected in their SN as well.

Abuse isn't easily overcome by positive platitides. If someone told me positive thinking was all it took, I'd ask then why do I still feel so badly at times? I am a positive, optimistic person by nature; unfortunately, someone that was in my life decided to hurt me in spite of that.
Just my 2 cents on the matter.