Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi again everybody,
I have a quick question...I've been having a slight epiphany in which I'm curious as to whether my brother sounds like a narcissist. I'll give you some examples and traits...
He'll use superficial charm to everyone except my mother and I, he'll show a lack of empathy (once when I was talking about charity work I was doing he asked why I would do such a thing), never understands why I'm upset when he's abusive, he shows a lack of guilt or remorse, his view of himself is very elevated--he's the smartest, most hilarious person on the planet, only his tastes/opinions matter, he'll even put others down in public sometimes--especially if they're overweight, he's easy to anger, he's very hypocritical/contradictory, he picked on classmates in school, nothing is ever his fault, and his needs/wants always come first. These are only some examples.
What do you think? Is this just his pattern of emotionally/verbally abusive behavior or is it also narcissism?
certainly narcissistic.
And you also said,
". . . when he's abusive. . . . "
so you already know that
he's routinely abusive.
I'm the daughter of a
narcissist and also a
clinician of over 20 years.
Here are two observations:
The first is that while
all abusers are not
necessarily narcissists -----
all narcissists ARE abusers.
(So you see, it's
not an either or
situation. It's not
one or the other.)
The second thing
is that most clinicians
agree that narcissistic
personality disorder
may be the toughest
behavior pattern to
treat or even to
decrease in the
smallest amount.
This is probably
because narcissists
are totally convinced
that whatever they
feel, think, say or do
is the only thing that
should be felt, thought,
said or done. Therefore
the views or recommendations
of a therapist are utterly
irrelevant, and certainly
not welcome.
It's as unlikely as
snow falling on
July 4th in the
U.S. that your
brother will
be any different
than he's been
in the past. . . . .
except that as
he grows older,
he may be more
like he's been till
now, becoming
more and more
abusive.
No amount of
asking him not
to be, will be
effective. He's
probably convinced
that his is the only
relevant opinion
and all others can
find a dark, dusty
corner for theirs.
The way to get along
with a narcissist is to
get a long, long way
from where they are.