I am in the EXACT same boat right now. As far as feeling how unfair it is that i endured the hitting but someone else is going to reap the rewards of a new job he is getting ready to get. He tried to lure me with and like you, I don't want him back, I don't trust him. I don't feel safe.

It isn't fair, at all. It's really unbelievably painful, I have cried about this because it hurts me to the very core of my soul. But when I cry I feel better, and I open up my heart to other possibilities. I know you can't think of it now, but there is a man out there that's gonna treat you like Gold, because you deserve it. It's really his loss not yours. Think of it this way, he knew what he had and blew it. That is so much worse I think.

Get back into a support group if you already haven't I can't imagine not having a support group, I go to my Womens Battered Center in my town, and they help me I get free counseling, which i went today and talked about all of my options, I feel so much better. I feel supported, I feel like I have a place to go people will help me. Call a friend, call someone who knows about your story and just talk to them, one phone call could make a difference. I would actually suggest people who are in battered centers that have the qualifications to help you, because sometimes family (not intending) could sway you to do something that could be harmful to you.

You need to stay strong and focus on yourself. Good riddance I say, why do you need to play the role of caregiver? What do you get out of staying sad because he has moved on, do you not see how much of a slap in the face your giving yourself. Be proud of yourself for sticking to your guns, it's a hard thing to do, God knows I know. And I am speaking for myself too, have more backbone. This man hurt you. And that's the price you pay when you can't see the precious gift (wife) that God has put before him.

I know your just venting because I know you are trying to get past this. It's September now, you got away in March, too much time has gone by to turn back now, you will be doing yourself a disservice. All because your worried someone else is going to get him? Don't worry about that, like they say past behavior dictates future behavior, people can change, but to me it seems that these kind of people (The abuser's) can't change.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPwck0EQkgs&index=63&list=PL9AF6E225B05A0260

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E10ZRIkEQh4&index=65&list=PL9AF6E225B05A0260

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwNr0eQmmuI&index=64&list=PL9AF6E225B05A0260


Please copy and paste this url into your browser and watch them, I'm
sure you know this stuff already but it seems you need a little
refresher course.

Please IM me if you need any support. I'd love to listen. I left my abuser Friday, well I can say he left our home, and I have contemplated going back, i waiver, but the more horror stories i hear
and the more I know what I have to lose, I rethink my whole situation. I'm not about to lose my daugther to CPS, just because a
moment of weakness, and then I had to call 911 to get him off of me.
NO WAY! I love my family too much for that bullshit.

And let me tell you it is absolute bullshit, the nerve these people have to turn our lives around, and then have the nerve to BLAME US, because they couldnt' keep their hands off of us, what is wrong with that picture. I'm sorry I'm gonna get off my soap box now.

Please rethink this you have come so far, I am so proud of you.

lol @Cant74deal, I know this is not funny, but it really does show you know exactly what kind of crap this poor woman is dealing with by your responses.

It is all crap!!

I can't help it-these guys make me mad-I am not fully out of that stage. Such a compassionate, intelligent, lovely woman he had and all he can do is play mind games and try to make her feel guilty-play on her fears. Shame on him! He doesn't know how to deserve someone like the OP!

Lol can't I had that same response! That email was allllll about him. I would print the dang things off and get two color highlighters. One for every word that was about HIM and the other for any word he might chance to say about YOU. I think that is a good concrete way to see who and where his focus is. Grrrr the me me me people make ME crazy!
Or better yet... block his emails! Stop reading that load of horse manure so you can fully detox from it.
Take extra good care of you :)
Hugs

Thank you so much everyone! Your comments were very helpful. It's hard for me to be objective when reading his emails so your comments are very powerful.

Gigglemon said it write, block him or quit reading his emails. He will lure you back in by any means necessary, remember your dealing with an abuser, not a normal person.

I`m late to this, but I agree absolutely that a sudden change is WAY too good to be true, and I don`t believe it.

I also think/know he is using his new date. He doesn't love her, and she will get what you got from him - all the awful bits included. They don`t get better or suddenly "find the right woman"; they switch victims, for reasons that are entirely to do with THEIR brokenness, not ours.

Huge hugs xxx

You know I have to say after everything i have been through today, I get it. The best thing you can do is move on and keep going.

When I did ask that he wait until he completes his abuse program for me to make a decision his response is that he doesnt have time for me to wait bc he is almost 37 and isnt getting any younger. He claims to be yearning for a family of his own.

Aral, I have been told that exact same thing by more than one man.

It`s SELFISH. How dare he play down the seriousness of and put his own wishes before his attendance at a program which, if HE had not behaved abusively towards you, he would not be needing to attend at all? This behaviour is yet more proof that he is not the catch he says he is. A fundamentally decent person would not say such a thing.

I`m so sorry you have been treated this way. You deserve WAY better! (((HUGS))) xxx