Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
In work today . Who should walk in. My husband. I was looking at my phone and he said. Who are you texting? Is it a man? I said no. Go away or il call police. He left. Bit later he's looking at me through my work window. I didn't see him straight away. I was again looking at my phone. Strange how he came twice when I was doing something with my phone. Anyway. I looked up and there he was. He said . Who is that email off. I read all that then? No way could he have seen anything on my phone as he wasn't close enough. Even though he was pressed up to the glass windows. I told him to go away again. He left. What I was trying to do on my phone was to download a phone and text blocker so I could block him. He is crazy When I finished work today there was a note on my windscreen of my car. It said . I love you (my name) and only you. Please believe me. It's hard for me without that.
I know how scary it can be... my husband displayed stalking behaviour even in the relationship.
Once I had to work a Sunday. He went crazy because I turned my phone off and he knew one co-worker was male. So crazy, that he hid near my work and followed me covertly to the shops when I left at the end. He stood about a hundred metres away from me without my knowledge as I called him from outside the supermarket to ask him what he wanted for dinner that night. He answered his phone as if he was still at home! Then he suddenly said completely calmly, "Turn around. Look towards the computer shop."
I turned around. Couldn't believe my eyes - there he was, standing there glaring at me, still with his phone to his ear!!!
I was so freaked out...
You are not alone, and we all support you in getting yourself free of this man. xx
I would suggest that this may not be an appropriate board for you to be responding to other's posts, especially in such a patroizing tone. Many people here have been abused by people with your issues. I would hardly call this response "compassionate to women."
What need's husband did is not appropriate under any circumstances and as was stated is at a minimum harassment and likely stalking. It's thinking like you have shared in this post that drives the people with these disorders to behave this way. It's not acceptable on this board.
You may feel as I do , that you do not want to get a restraining order, but maybe think about it. I know you do not want to hurt him or add to his sadness.... But do you want him to continue to add to your sadness.
I really am not one to speak, because I have not been successful with going NC longer than 48 hours--- but he initiates each of the breaks and then I feel awful.. I have self doubt and loathing. I feel bad about what I have done (but in reality my leaving and the pain he complains to me about that he has had for 6 weeks is NOTHING compared to the pain I have felt for a minimum of 10 years--- even the priest I saw yesterday laughed at the comparsion and lack of understanding on my husbands part).
Please understand that you are not the cause of his pain.
He is causing you pain while you are trying to survive.
It is okay to protect yourself. It is sad that you have to protect yourself from the person who you believed would love, respect and cherish you forever..... but as we have shared before--- when your soul is no longer an active part of you.... then you have to love, respect and cherish yourself and protect yourself.
I am sorry if this is rambling.... but I want you to know that it is okay to take care of you (and yes I know and feel that it seems impossible and perhaps wrong to do--- but all the people on this board are telling us to practice self care--- we have to if we are going to survive)
Truth is that despite what he believes or not, he's crossing boundaries and the law is there for a reason, to stop people like him from doing what he's doing to people like yourself who just don't deserve it.
And I'm glad summer has pointed out the history of moda, I will respectfully question moda why you are in this forum? Given the fact your posts in here have been a little patronising it certainly isn't on the premies of helpfulness. If you need our help we'd be happy to help, but please don't cause others pain through patronising tones especially when those people are dealing with things already in their personal lives, that's just not very nice!