First of all I think sometimes were are set up for these type of men according to our home life. My parents did not freely give love and my mother always pitted my sister and I against each other. Never letting us be friends or even having a lunch together with out her being there. My sister has now past away and it hurts that we were so controlled by our mother.
I married to get away from my mother. My husband was just like everyone says, your too sensitive, you don't cook it the way I like it, your getting big, calling me whale tale, anything to destroy my self esteem. He constantly berated me. I wanted to leave but my daughter cried and said she would never speak to me again. She didn't want to be torn between us.
Here I am, 55, with a husband who did something stupid and is now in jail. My child is married, has a child and I am all alone. I don't want others to know of our situation because of my daughters family. She is a daddy's girl and is devastated by this. She sometimes treated me like her father, telling me I was too sensitive, but that has now stopped.
He was not a nice man to his co-workers or my friends. But still, people were drawn to him. The only ones he was ever truly nice too were his mother,who abandoned him as a child, and his half brother and half sister.
I don't have a job, thankfully he had just retired and I have that coming in and I am now in control of all the money and finances. I never paid bills before and I was thrust into all at once.
Before sentencing, he went to a psychologist. He told my husband, being abandoned was what caused him to behave as he did. He begged my forgiveness and he was the nicest person you could ever know. He made sure I was financially ok before he left. He told me all of his dark secrets and how he really hated himself. He said he was sorry he destroyed my life and didn't let me become the person I wanted to be. He held me back from being the fun loving and free spirit I was when he met me. But it is too late now, I am a depressed shell of a person who just stares at a wall or tv and I just fell numb. I can't feel anything, love, hate, nothing!
I am telling you ladies all of this so you know not to wait to leave. Run as fast as you can and live the life God intended you to live. He doesn't want to be some ones slave or doormat. I am older now and it's difficult to find a job at my age. I have low self esteem and not sure if I can ever get over it.
Please, unless he agrees to go to counseling and really changes, not just for a few days, then leave for good. Go to your family or friends, but just get out before you end up like me, a total wreck.