Thanks for sharing your strength, JL!

Cool! I love strong empowering statements.
Thanks for sharing this!

Your welcome and I am glad to share.

That is awesome! You are a gifted writer.It sounds like it could be lyrics to a song.

Love it :)

Thanks so much. My last abuser told me that I should go to college and submit my writing it was amazing. Of course he told me so many lies to get past the walls I had up. I have learned now when they show too much interest in you that is a red flag as well. It is sad as the thing I look for from a man is approval, validation and respect as I do not get them from my father. I really thought I had these things with this last man. :(

That's profound...and profoundly true.

The Psychopath that was my wife's Ex has been a brooding, angry and depressed man since the day she got remarried (to me).

He always told her that nobody would have her...that they would "see her for exactly what she is".

Well, I saw her and I love her. Question is: "If she was so bad, then why were YOU with her?" What does that say about YOU???

Perhaps it is as if the abuser sees something in you that they wish they had? My last one actually would copy and paste my writing, even everyday writing to a journel, for his creative writing course in college. He asked me if he could do this of course and I really had no problem with it as I found him engaging and charming. Little did I know how a person could use your own words and thoughts against you. Also when I reread our conversations that we had for months before I even agreed to a public meeting, I realize how much personal information I gave him and how he really knew my strengths and weaknesses within the words I wrote.
I gave him all he needed to hurt me. He was just putting the feelers out there and I was like a fly trapped in a spiders web.
I will watch who I share my thoughts with now as far as if it involves a potential romantic relationship and my walls will be a fortress. I will know now when someone says let your walls down, they have intent to do harm.
@ Tigertales, I am glad that you saw the good in your wife and you love her for her. I feel we all truly want acceptance and perhaps confuse it with love. Not that I don't believe in the concept of love, but I realize know that is so easily said by some and used as a weapon to gain access to mind, thoughts and emotions. I have rarely said the word as I fully have to believe it or feel it. To me it is a powerful statement and I really would just prefer honesty.

You are one more powerful lady!

And I don't throw compliments like that very often.

Well thank you Tigertales. Just as an aside, your profile photo makes me smile. My mother, who I lost to a very long and stoic battle with cancer, loved Tigers. She was especially fond of white tigers. You have a beautiful day.

Joannie imo by looking outside of yourself for approval and validation, you are setting yourself up to be hurt, because ultimately people, as well as abusers don't always approve of others or validate their experience. Even non abusers can go through the same experiences and come out of it with differnt affects and beliefs. You are entitled to experience your life and to have your own feelings regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Learned, You are very wise and give such insightful advice. I am guilty of even trying to buy affection and acceptance. I will give the last abuser that much, he never seemed to want money from me whereas one prior to him took me for a lot of money.
He was confusing as to he would approve of my behavior, say my kind heart or compassion and then he would despise the same things when the relationship would be rocky. I would always be off guard as to how could you hate what you once loved in a person?
As for looking for approval, you are so correct. How can I expect others to see me in a positive light when I don't like what I see in the mirror on most days?

And as far as respect is concerned, imo that is something you expect and will refuse to accept anything less. And by doing that we practice self respect.

I love this. Awesome writing. Please keep it up.