So I am off work today because my office does not have a doctor. Typically, as the manager, I work six days per week, averaging about 60 hours during that week. Then I have my personal homework, helping the kids, and all the other household issues--laundry, cleaning, taking trash to dump, cooking, shopping, you know the drill. Then, whenever he decides to "grace us with his presence" I start all over again with cooking another meal, cleaning, and then having to pretend I want to be intimate if he decides he wants to. (He usually doesn't come home until at least 9:30 or 10:00 pm), all to get back up at 5:30 with the girls the next morning so they can get ready for school. He expects me to call him when I get to work in the morning at 8:30 and when I leave work in the evening. (He wants me to call him throughout the day as well, but this is not possible with my job--we don't get "breaks" like normal jobs do).
So, this morning the house phone rings at 7:40. I cringed as soon as I heard it because I knew it was him. (He doesn't usually call in the morning, but God forbid I am actually off work today). He calls and asks me what I am doing--did I go back to sleep? I told him that I was lying in bed watching Home Improvement. He then asks "well aren't you off work today." What I wanted to say was "Yes you idiot, that is why I am trying to relax in bed for a change and watch tv rather than rushing to get ready for work (I drive nearly an hour to work each day and have to be there at 8:30). What I said instead was "yes." He then asks what my plans are for the day. I said I was going to clean house, do my homework assignment, do laundry, go to the dump, then I may have to pick our daughter up from school at 4:30 if she stays after. This caused another irritation because I wasn't being clear about my plans for the day. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it wrong that I don't want to feel like a child who has to check in with her parents each time she takes a single step. And basically, I will not be able to get anything done at all today that I want to because he is going to (guaranteed) call me fifty times today wanting to know why I haven't called him and what I am doing that is so important. Then, in about a month he will use this day as his cause for an argument because, as his wife, I should have made sure there was nothing he needed me to do for the day. After all, I am off work so I should be doing something for him. The house is not going to be clean enough, the food is not going to be what he wanted to eat, and surely something else will be wrong today. When I bring up that I don't feel I should have to "check in" with him each time I use the bathroom this is just more proof that I am not committed to this relationship working. As his wife I should keep him up to the minute with details of my day. That's all he's asking--that I let him know what's going on, is that really so much to ask?!
I actually had the opportunity to leave work at 4 yesterday instead of 6 and I wouldn't go because I didn't feel like being drilled for an hour about why I left work and what did I do. And that is exactly what it is, I feel like I am being interrogated by the police. And he refuses to accept that what I say is truth anyway, he already has in his head what he wants to hear (which is usually so delusional it would be laughable if it wasn't scary). I usually end up giving in and telling him whatever it is that I supposedly did wrong (even though I didn't do that) just to get the inquisition to stop.
Sorry, I just needed to rant. I am so aggravated that I am not going to be able to enjoy my day off because I KNOW what happens when I am off work. Thanks asshole for even ruining the times I get without you. And most people would say, just don't answer the phone when he calls, but that would be even worse. Then he would feel justified in whatever abuse he heaped on us tonight because I must have been doing something I shouldn't have been.