Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
The prototypical psychopath has deficits or deviance in several areas: interpersonal relationships, emotion, and self-control. Psychopaths gain satisfaction through antisocial behavior, and do not experience shame, guilt, or remorse for their actions.[12][13][14] Psychopaths lack a sense of guilt or remorse for any harm they may have caused others, instead rationalizing the behavior, blaming someone else, or denying it outright.[15] [16] Psychopaths also lack empathy towards others in general, resulting in tactlessness, insensitivity, and contemptuousness. Psychopaths can have a superficial charm about them, enabled by a willingness to say anything to anyone without concern for accuracy or truth. Shallow affect also describes the psychopath's tendency for genuine emotion to be short-lived, glib and egocentric, with an overall cold demeanor. Their behavior is impulsive and irresponsible, often failing to keep a job or defaulting on debts.[16] Psychopaths also have a markedly distorted sense of the potential consequences of their actions, not only for others, but also for themselves. They do not deeply recognize the risk of being caught, disbelieved or injured as a result of their behavior.
However, the exceptions were that, A FEW TIMES, he would say to me that he felt ashamed and guilty, which was very rarely, but he did say it. Once he even said to me, after getting pissed drunk, that he is "an evil person" and wanted to break up with me. Another time, he said he was ashamed at how he treated his past girlfriends "like shit". He also said the second time I got back together with him, that he felt so guilty for putting me through so much BS.
But then, these instances were rare, he would often go back to his abusiveness.
So I always wondered whether those things he said pertaining to the guilt and shame were real or not. Was he faking? Did he mean them?
I always wondered if he is a sociopath or not.
The abuse however, was horrible, it was mostly emotional/verbal abuse with two minor assaults, one physical, one sexual.
To me they sound very similar in behavior and affect toward the world...it is a stage of development or attachment that they were deprived of or is it more environmental in nature?
He's very responsible and has a great career. He's calculating and cold and he's very stingy with his money, especially with me and the kids. I'd have to save money by selling things on ebay so that I could buy things for myself even though we were making enough to spare. I asked him once for an "allowance" for myself and he wouldn't even give me $20 a month extra. I'd resort to buying things second hand and then he'd complain that I brought home junk. He would complain if I had to go to the dr. even though we had really good insurance. He called me a hypochondriac all the time. Never any sympathy, ever. I could go on and on but my ex is a narcissist and it was hell.