My stb- narcissistic- x has a new Narcissist Supplier (a subordinate at his work) who seems pretty unstable herself(she is married with children and at this point does not want to leave her husband- she is very controlling and reactive and blows hot and cold with him, it was suggested that she may be a borderline personality?)... on one hand they probably deserve each other... she obviously craves the dysfunction of the situation, but I can\'t stop feeling guilty about the sitution she has attached herself to. She is potentially going to ruin her marriage and hurt her kids to connect with a man incapable of ever really loving her or meeting (or even caring about) her needs. He has terrible anger issues and is very moody and grumpy. I am certain he will ultimately cheat on her- as just this morning he called me to \"talk\" and told me that she said that she loved him last night but that she was conflicted about whether to stay with her husband, probably because he doesn\'t know where he stands with her now, he then immediately asked me to have sex with him because he was \"so lonely and needed to connect\". (To which I of course said absolutely not but then also pointed out how inappropriate it was for him to ask because of his new relationship- to which he replied \"I don\'t have a relationship with anyone!\"). In weaker moments my stbx has admitted to me that he has lied to her about who he really is (he only says what he thinks she will want to hear), and he says he does not love her and definitely doesn\'t want anything to do with her kids (or his own for that matter)... but I am certain he is laying on the charm (I remember how absolutely charming he was when we first met), and he is desperate to keep the relationship going- even though she blows so hot and cold and it keeps him very unbalanced. The last time she cooled things down, he said he almost called her husband himself. (I know when their relationship is on the rocks because he always comes crying to me). Of course there is a part of me that is hurt that he \"cheated\" on me and ultimately replaced me but a bigger part of me is grateful because I am now free. As long as their relationship is in tact, I am completely free from him.

My question is, have any of you ever felt bad for the other woman? Am I sick to be concerned about her well-being? It is not my style to be vintictive so I know I would never \"warn\" her- but I guess I am thinking it is strange that I even feel bad for her. Any thoughts would be appreciated- many thanks.

K

ps: I also recognize that I need to set better limits with my stbx about what he can \"talk\" to me about. To be honest- I am just trying to get through the divorce without making him mad because he has been pretty cooperative- my fear is that if I anger him he will become very vindictive and start fighting about everything. We probably only have less than sixty days to go... so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.