Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
How does one stay sane with dysfunction all around them. I'm seriously starting to think its me.
Last night I told my son who is staying with me with his wife and daughter that he needs to work on getting his license so I can stop driving him all over the place. He lost it five years ago to a dwi. I've been driving him to work and back most days for these five years. I also took care of my granddaughter full time. I am exhausted from all this. Add an addict to the mix and the Ex bf and I'm overwhelmed.
Well last night a war erupted on my house. His wife said she can't take him to motor vehicle to get the form he needs because she has beach plans. So I say well she needs to make this a priority. I'm tired and don't want to do this anymore. I've been asking for six months. He went crazy on me. Called me horrible names and told me he wanted to punch me in the face. My dil says go whore yourself out to pay your bills. I pay them just fine. They were the ones who needed a place to live. Thought it would be beneficial to us both. They both verbally attacked me for setting a boundary for myself. I said no more enabling.
Today he emailed me about 10 times from work telling me all the things he feels about me. Honestly I've done everything for my sons. I sacrificed to give them all I never had.
He twisted and blamed me and took the focus off himself and they both put it on me. I lost it and told them to get out. So I'm starting to see that I seem to be attracting chaos in my life. I keep exchanging one for another. This shocks me. We were so close.
He mocked me for staying in my room watching tv. Said I needed better meds since I never leave my room. Which isn't true because I'm out with friends for dinner or drinks every other night. I've been trying to be considerate and give them space as a family and stayed upstairs.
I don't seem to be doing anything right anymore. I'm starting to think its me. I must be the crazy one.
Last night I told my son who is staying with me with his wife and daughter that he needs to work on getting his license so I can stop driving him all over the place. He lost it five years ago to a dwi. I've been driving him to work and back most days for these five years. I also took care of my granddaughter full time. I am exhausted from all this. Add an addict to the mix and the Ex bf and I'm overwhelmed.
Well last night a war erupted on my house. His wife said she can't take him to motor vehicle to get the form he needs because she has beach plans. So I say well she needs to make this a priority. I'm tired and don't want to do this anymore. I've been asking for six months. He went crazy on me. Called me horrible names and told me he wanted to punch me in the face. My dil says go whore yourself out to pay your bills. I pay them just fine. They were the ones who needed a place to live. Thought it would be beneficial to us both. They both verbally attacked me for setting a boundary for myself. I said no more enabling.
Today he emailed me about 10 times from work telling me all the things he feels about me. Honestly I've done everything for my sons. I sacrificed to give them all I never had.
He twisted and blamed me and took the focus off himself and they both put it on me. I lost it and told them to get out. So I'm starting to see that I seem to be attracting chaos in my life. I keep exchanging one for another. This shocks me. We were so close.
He mocked me for staying in my room watching tv. Said I needed better meds since I never leave my room. Which isn't true because I'm out with friends for dinner or drinks every other night. I've been trying to be considerate and give them space as a family and stayed upstairs.
I don't seem to be doing anything right anymore. I'm starting to think its me. I must be the crazy one.
I'm not sure how to feel right now. It's been two months of hell. But I'm still standing.
My attorney is handling all the legal stuff right now.
I just need some down time to regroup and figure a plan. Going away for a week at the end of the month. Then I can figure out a plan. What I do know is I have rights to see my granddaughter. I will let some time go by and figure this out. But they are not going to stop me from seeing her. That's a battle I will fight. That's the part that's hard.
Abusive people are responsible for their own abuse. The victim is never to blame. Yes, do the things you are doing now to protect yourself - but don't do them because it is in ANY sense your fault that you were abused by those you tried to help.
It's not your fault. Not at all.
I forgot to tell you to look up gaslighter. Thats what people do to make it seem like it's all you when it is not. Show it to your lawyer and doctor. It IS a actual word for people who try to twist things on you.
And to everyone else...
How the heck do you " set boundaries" when they look at me and think im nuts?? They do...they act like I made it up.
Lynne
Much better now. It's just me and the dog and peace and quiet. Kind of like it like this.
I have gone through much of what you've gone through myself, losing two Grands in the process. Many have. Many "get it".
I wish you the best, and commend you for standing up for YOU in all this.
{{hugz}}
In such a short time you have made so much change.
I guess you have given up the old ideas and discovered freedom and some peace.
I don't know how you came to realize what you needed to do and to do it, but it reminds me of my twelve step group. You are going in such a healthy direction.
Best to you!