Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
A while back, I sent my ex in laws a nice card and letter along with a check to help them out financially. They are retired and both in their late 70s with health issues and financial issues. On top of that they have a nephew living there who does not help out and a niece who tests them emotionally with marriage problems and possible bipolar. They also feed my ex husband most nights who does not work but takes care of his Mom. He does live elsewhere. Its just that they struggled all their life and never got to enjoy their golden years. I lived with them back when I dated my ex years ago and they fed me and never asked for rent. They showed me an unconditional love that my own family was incapable of. Come to find out even though they were touched by my card and gift, they never used my money? I know they could use it and I feel perhaps maybe there has to be a way to help? I don't spend money on myself and I am very frugal. I am wondering if perhaps I could somehow find out where they bank and deposit the money anonymously? I owe them so much and it hurts me to know they are going without. I just don't want to alienate them along with my ex husband. Advice please?
You are such a kind and compassionate person. Anyone who has you in their lives is lucky indeed.
I try to give back as much as I can to the community I live in and to help out others when they are in need. Over time, I have realized that many people have too much pride to accept help, even if they desperately need it. I have found that being anonymous is the best way to give.
If you know where they bank, you can go into their branch and ask to make a deposit. Or perhaps call up and pay a bill for them? Perhaps their electricity bill? Maybe you can send them something you know they might need or something they might never buy for themselves and have it sent anonymously?
One of my other favorite things to do is pay for the person behind me in the drive thru... I also like to pick up an elderly person's tab at my local breakfast spot.
A person in my neighborhood started doing random acts of kindness... Leaving notes on cars, flowers on doorsteps, ect. Each one is signed with a simple 'Pay it Forward'.
I love this idea. And it is a great reminder that people can be good to each other.
Kindness is contagious!!! :)
I agree with freedom. Maybe even consider (if they have it or don't) pay for their lawn to be mowed or something like that too.
Keep staying positive!
So very kind of you for wanting to help out. I'm very sure no matter what you do they will feel the love in it and love it!!!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
But it's not my fault he has not worked for years? He is a very intelligent man and capable, he just has the attitude that the world is unfair, women are all evil due to how I did him (which further sucks at my esteem and self hatred) and he won't even apply himself. :(
I tell his Mom when I talk to her that he has many great qualities and he is not a loser like he says. I guess he just prefers to hate me.
As I said, I am kind of afraid, if he would find out I helped them he will hate me even more.
I do not want that, but I want to make their life a bit better as they were there for me for 7 years while I lived in his bedroom with him, going to college and working. I helped out around the house and mowed, and loved them so much. It really hurt to lose them.
As I said in my journel, I tried to buy his love for years and I just couldn't . I still would buy his company even without the love if I could, I know that sounds messed up, but he was everything to me until I just couldn't do it anymore.
Anyway, getting off track, sorry.