MelindaG...I do not have an abusive husband but I have been severly abuse by a boyfriedn and I have done extensive work in the social services field were I have helped full families of moms and children GET OUT and go to a shelter. Please take you and your son to a Domestic Violence Shelter. I can say that abuse is a cycle that is passed on through families and until your son has and knows somethign else he is growing up seeing that Daddy can treat Mommy this way and Mommy doesn't do anything so this must be NORMAL! Please don't let him grow up thinking that way because then he may become an abuser himself. For your safety and your sons please find a way to get to a shelter.l If you call the police they will take you to a shelter if you ask. I pray that this finds you safe. Your friend.

the man i am with is so abusive. i have been with him for 7 years we have a 6 year old together. i did leave him once and stayed in a shelter it is not like what you think (homeless people) it is from poor to rich. when i left the shelter tought me my resorcess and how to stand. i did good til i went back to him on empty promisses. i was in a program that could have got me away from him forever. (i was stupid in the disissions i made going back.) they give your child strenth, couciling and some have a school under the shelter. it was a life changing experence. if you go to your moms you will end up back with him. i know from experence. you have to get away from everyone so you have a mind of your own and can think for your self. your son will look at you with a new light and a new bond will grow, that is what happen with my daughter and me. you will be suprised when you dont have the strenghth to go on you child gives you theirs. i hope you get threw this and maybe i was some help. if you need to talk write me.

I have run away to a shelter 3 times now. The first one was WONDERFUL. It was in a private area in a big house where everyone was SOOO nice. You get bumped up to top of the list for all assistance programs, like housing, daycare, food stamps etc.. They were even going to pay for my security deposit and 1st months rent within a MONTH. There were only two other families there so we had the house mainly to ourselves. They gave us a catered dinner, and had a big kitchen where we could cook whatever , whenever. They just asked us to keep everything clean...what more could i ask for? welll I worked, so I asked to transfer to the county closer to my job... BIG MISTAKE. This was in the CITY, and the shelter was also an all women's housing complex with the majority being homosexual women (some were really cute, I had to look twice to make sure!). The place was filthy, the women were threatening, and I was afraid to touch anything. The first thing they told me when they signed me in was to mind my own business and I would be fine. It was like prison? We had a 9pm curfew and I would drive around until then just so I didnt have to be there any longer than I had to . When I would come in the women were all sitting around but I would take the kids right to our 'room'. It was loud and crowded. If I could have stayed at the first place I could have made it. But I ended up going home after 3 weeks! I guess it depends on the area you live in . Call and ask. If you have one like the first one I had, you will have it made. Dont worry about your son. i have an 11 and 13 yr old who act just like their father. I feel soo guilty that I didnt leave a long time ago. i let my materialistic wants get in the way. Now I feel like I ruined their lives. I see all the other couples and envy them. I always wished we had a 'normal' family life. But then again, I dont know what happens with those couples behind closed door either..

I hope I have the story straight - I have read so much today, I may have mixed it up. I read that recently your husband wanted a divorce. I believe this entry was written before that and things may have changed a lot since then. In case they haven't, my 2 cents (if I'm not overstepping my boundaries) would be this: (roll playing) husband says dramatically, hoping for pain and tears "I want a divorce" and you say "OK!" and then you grab your prepacked bags, your son, and your gone before he can fart. I hope that you managed to take advantage of that golden opportunity. If not, just remember the many women who feel stuck for fear of their lives. They would probably love to hear those words. He likes to blame you for things but if he wants a divorce, then no matter what he says, you can always say that he was the one who left. My advice, even if you haven't left, is don't look back. One of the hardest things to do is to dig your heals in and say "no" regardless of how desperate and depressed he may be because you are gone. Don't go back - ever! If he is the vindictive type, I would file charges against him for domestic violence so that in the event of him possibly trying to get custody of your son, you have the upper hand. Like I said, I hope I am not saying too much and I can't claim to understand what you are going through exactly. I am sorry - no one deserves what you have gone through. Take your newfound freedom as an opportunity to discover what lesson you supposed to learn so you can avoid this in the future. Good luck to you!

hi !

you are sounding like an typical indian woman....we take all kinds of bullshit from our husbands and keep on living with them because we love them, and want to have a family.

tell you what....if its just the porno part, stop bothering about it. let him watch. if hes watching them, he does not love you enough, so better forget about having him, NOT WORTH. let him enjoy his porno girls.

TRY TO FIND WORK. thats what is going to help you separate and carry on your life.

do you have a work visa here ? also try to get in touch with somebody like sakhi, i do not know where you are based out of.

how old is your son ?

if beating is a daily affair, then you should call the police. where are your relatives/parents ? have you informed them ?

luv,
suffering