Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
It was time I actually made a post in this group, since I joined it, I have done very little. I think its time to come out with it.
I was born in sheffield. I have found out since leaving sheffield, that I almost wasn't born. My dad tried to get my mum to have an abortion. I'm thankful I suppose that she didn't. But all the hell I was put through. Beaten for the smallest mistakes. It has made me afraid to make mistakes. On the odd occasion I have made mistakes (through no fault of my own, I have dyspraxia, and that causes enough grief on its own) so that had an awful effect on me at school.
I was often beaten for no reason. He was awfully cruel to me. I can't particularly remember all the details, well, not yet. I think a lot of it is still repressed, but its so hard to open up to the memories, when the scars are so painful.
We left sheffield when I was 8, but I have not been able to trust people at all, well, mostly. I am so paranoid. I remember when I first left sheffield, that I used to have these nightmares, I feel so embarrassed but they scared me so much I used to wet the bed. I ended up going to the clinic, I got a bananaman book to put under my pillow which helped.
Last year on my 22 birthday, a lot of the past hit me. I had an emotional breakdown, well, pretty much. It hit me, I thought after 14 years I would be able to put it all behind me, but with scars like them and more, I don't think I will ever forget it. I was a fool to think otherwise.
But I didn't come here to recount my story of which there may well be holes in it, but anyway. I am afraid to show people me, I'm too afraid to relax, you hear things in the news, and round about that people who used to be abused end up abusing. But how does that work, I've experienced it, I know what its like, and I wouldn't wish that on my greatest enemy, but still. I'm afraid, I don't know what to do, should I relax, or should I hold onto my controls, driving me further into depression, back into alcoholism, because thats having a huge effect on me. I'm learning that now. I should have said something years ago, but I must have forgot it all, or repressed it all, and its finally coming out. Please help, I don't want people to think I'm a bore for the rest of my life, or think that I'm... I don't know, I just don't know what to do, and I'm afraid, afraid of what I am, or what I could be. I've been holding onto principles for a long time. People have done all these kind of things, but I am too scared to let go.
What can I do? I'm too scared to relax, but at the same time, I know I need to. Please help!
I was born in sheffield. I have found out since leaving sheffield, that I almost wasn't born. My dad tried to get my mum to have an abortion. I'm thankful I suppose that she didn't. But all the hell I was put through. Beaten for the smallest mistakes. It has made me afraid to make mistakes. On the odd occasion I have made mistakes (through no fault of my own, I have dyspraxia, and that causes enough grief on its own) so that had an awful effect on me at school.
I was often beaten for no reason. He was awfully cruel to me. I can't particularly remember all the details, well, not yet. I think a lot of it is still repressed, but its so hard to open up to the memories, when the scars are so painful.
We left sheffield when I was 8, but I have not been able to trust people at all, well, mostly. I am so paranoid. I remember when I first left sheffield, that I used to have these nightmares, I feel so embarrassed but they scared me so much I used to wet the bed. I ended up going to the clinic, I got a bananaman book to put under my pillow which helped.
Last year on my 22 birthday, a lot of the past hit me. I had an emotional breakdown, well, pretty much. It hit me, I thought after 14 years I would be able to put it all behind me, but with scars like them and more, I don't think I will ever forget it. I was a fool to think otherwise.
But I didn't come here to recount my story of which there may well be holes in it, but anyway. I am afraid to show people me, I'm too afraid to relax, you hear things in the news, and round about that people who used to be abused end up abusing. But how does that work, I've experienced it, I know what its like, and I wouldn't wish that on my greatest enemy, but still. I'm afraid, I don't know what to do, should I relax, or should I hold onto my controls, driving me further into depression, back into alcoholism, because thats having a huge effect on me. I'm learning that now. I should have said something years ago, but I must have forgot it all, or repressed it all, and its finally coming out. Please help, I don't want people to think I'm a bore for the rest of my life, or think that I'm... I don't know, I just don't know what to do, and I'm afraid, afraid of what I am, or what I could be. I've been holding onto principles for a long time. People have done all these kind of things, but I am too scared to let go.
What can I do? I'm too scared to relax, but at the same time, I know I need to. Please help!
Build a network of friends who support you even when you don't feel good about you
Replace the negative voices in your head with postive ones.
Realize that other people make mistakes too, they aren't bad for doing that. They are just human. It's ok for you to make mistakes too.
Go to counseling if you can to learn new ways to think about yourself
Learn about abuse and emotions and different healing techniques
Riddles
Counselling is an answer. And being here on DS releases huge inside pressures.
I'm so sorry that all this happened to you. Nobody deserves this kind of treatment.
Perhaps these boards will be a good place for you to learn how to open up, because they are anonymous and you don't have to do it face-to-face.
Thanks again
Riddles