Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi everyone!
It's been quite some time since I've been on this site but it's nice to check in once in awhile and see how my friends are doing! A few years ago, this site was my biggest support and I owe it to many of you in helping my healing journey! I'm proof that life can move on beyond an abuser, despite at the time when you're in it, you don't think that you'll ever heal... It's so nice to know that even though I haven't been on here in awhile, I can still come back and be welcomed back with open arms!
So last night I heard that my ex is married and of course he's married to a woman he most likely cheated on me with while we were together. Don't get me wrong, I've healed and I'd like to think I'm over him but it still really upset me to hear this! All the thoughts are going through my head such as, "Did he change?", Why could he change for her and not me?", and of course, "Why is he happy before me?". I also know through my healing that I should pitty her but there is a small part of me who is jealous. We've been broken up now for 3 years and I don't know why I still care?! I think the hard part as well is that I'm still single. I've dated quite a bit in the last few years and just can't seem to find a decent man in my life. I so want to have a happy and healthy relationship and it upsets me that I can't find that. Of course I know I'm better single than being with an abuser but why can't it seem that the good people will get their turn at happiness? I think I've waited long enough! I admit that probably for the first year I was single, I was volurnerable and I'm thankful I didn't get in a relationship then as I would've most likely fallen into an abusive trap again but I know I'm ready now for a healthy relationship. It's also amazing to see how just hearing about him getting married 3 years later when I think I've healed, can bring back a lot of horrible memories! I guess we can heal but we never forget...
On a happier note, my life is pretty good! This year at 35 years of age, I decided to go back to college! It was a big step for me and I was terrified but now I can say it was the best decision I ever made! I have an A average and this is coming from a girl who just got by in highschool. Being in school is just what I needed for my self esteem. I've grown so much! I'm taking Early Childhood Education and I truly feel like this is what I'm meant to do! The children make me happy and I feel good helping them. I guess the type of people who are usually with abusers are the helping type so why not put that helping need into something good instead and help children! I'm working on myself and it feels goood to know it's all about me and making myself happy and not about living my life for a man. I've learned so many life lessons in the last few years of my life and I'm a true beleiver that when life is difficult, that is when you learn the most. Change is good and it should be embraced! When you do something that you fear the most is when you grow the most! I was so scared to break up with him years ago and I grew! I was so scared to go back to school and I grew! I'd like to think of my ex as the man who started my journey for me to become the amazing woman that I'm meant to be!
Anyway, thanks for reading and I wish each and every one of you the best! We are all a group of amazing people! Some of us just need to get past the fear and grow! xoxox
It's been quite some time since I've been on this site but it's nice to check in once in awhile and see how my friends are doing! A few years ago, this site was my biggest support and I owe it to many of you in helping my healing journey! I'm proof that life can move on beyond an abuser, despite at the time when you're in it, you don't think that you'll ever heal... It's so nice to know that even though I haven't been on here in awhile, I can still come back and be welcomed back with open arms!
So last night I heard that my ex is married and of course he's married to a woman he most likely cheated on me with while we were together. Don't get me wrong, I've healed and I'd like to think I'm over him but it still really upset me to hear this! All the thoughts are going through my head such as, "Did he change?", Why could he change for her and not me?", and of course, "Why is he happy before me?". I also know through my healing that I should pitty her but there is a small part of me who is jealous. We've been broken up now for 3 years and I don't know why I still care?! I think the hard part as well is that I'm still single. I've dated quite a bit in the last few years and just can't seem to find a decent man in my life. I so want to have a happy and healthy relationship and it upsets me that I can't find that. Of course I know I'm better single than being with an abuser but why can't it seem that the good people will get their turn at happiness? I think I've waited long enough! I admit that probably for the first year I was single, I was volurnerable and I'm thankful I didn't get in a relationship then as I would've most likely fallen into an abusive trap again but I know I'm ready now for a healthy relationship. It's also amazing to see how just hearing about him getting married 3 years later when I think I've healed, can bring back a lot of horrible memories! I guess we can heal but we never forget...
On a happier note, my life is pretty good! This year at 35 years of age, I decided to go back to college! It was a big step for me and I was terrified but now I can say it was the best decision I ever made! I have an A average and this is coming from a girl who just got by in highschool. Being in school is just what I needed for my self esteem. I've grown so much! I'm taking Early Childhood Education and I truly feel like this is what I'm meant to do! The children make me happy and I feel good helping them. I guess the type of people who are usually with abusers are the helping type so why not put that helping need into something good instead and help children! I'm working on myself and it feels goood to know it's all about me and making myself happy and not about living my life for a man. I've learned so many life lessons in the last few years of my life and I'm a true beleiver that when life is difficult, that is when you learn the most. Change is good and it should be embraced! When you do something that you fear the most is when you grow the most! I was so scared to break up with him years ago and I grew! I was so scared to go back to school and I grew! I'd like to think of my ex as the man who started my journey for me to become the amazing woman that I'm meant to be!
Anyway, thanks for reading and I wish each and every one of you the best! We are all a group of amazing people! Some of us just need to get past the fear and grow! xoxox
and on being back in school and successful!
She will not have better luck than you.
His nature will prevail and the honeymoon
will end, if it hasn't already.
It's my personal opinion that
finding happiness with a partner
happens less often than we hear
about in romance movies and
fairy tales. I know that it happens
sometimes and I'm still hoping
that someday it might happen
for me and for those I know.
I just don't think the odds are
very good.
Please take care of yourself
and keep doing what you're doing!
Congratulations on going back to school. That is one of the many things EX wouldn't allow me to do that I plan on doing!
Love that you have found your calling and are going back to school. I found it much more rewarding to attend college after 30 than I ever did growing up!! Good luck to you!