Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I know it is normal for me to wonder if my ex did try to text me while I have no cell phone service. I wish I didn't think of him at all but what do I expect when the crazy relationship went on for almost 7 years? I think I expect too much too soon possibly. I long for the day when I no longer even wonder about him or think about him at all. Hopefully he is done this time but at the same time I sort of wonder if I never do hear from him again am I such a bad person? I know it sounds crazy because I do not want to be with him but I keep thinking on and off about if he has tried to contact me. This curiosity is what drove me to leave the cell phone off for a while because usually by now I would have recieved that text message saying "How are you?" for a start and then he would begin to work on me. I guess right now I am feeling the loss of that effort he would make to lure me back. In a way it seems sort of sick of me to think that at all when I am rid of an emotionally abusive situation. I do not understand how this man got such control over me even when he is gone I feel like when I think of him he is in control. I want to feel confident and in control of my life again. Hopefully time will bring me to that point. Its almost been 5 weeks of no contact. OH and thanks to everyone who encouraged me at 4 weeks! That meant a lot to me! It is difficult to change the cycle and stick to the decision. I know once I heal and get through these feelings things will get much better for me I just know it will.
We fell in love with them...well at least a version of what we THOUGHT they were. And our dream was pulled out from under us. What is so hard for me is knowing how good he could be a lot of the time and WHY CAN"T he always be that way?
Parts of me keep wishing that my H will have a rude awakening and miss me so much he will do anything in his power to change. I mean he doesn't even attempt to try. So I feel that rejection everyday and it hurts.
Everytime my phone text goes off I silently hope its him saying how sorry he is...he lost his mind and he's back to this planet again. But in my heart I know that can never happen. I am working my way into the acceptance phase reluctantly. The pain it caused me living like this is greater then the good times.
Your not crazy for feeling that way. Its still fresh and your lonely. I get that. You are doing great because you know you deserve better and it isn't him.
I feel like every time we go back or answer or talk to them in anyway, its starts the grieving process all over again.
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
There were never enough of those moments to out weigh the bad one's. But we do miss them regardless. Your doing the right thing, hang in there it will get better!!
You are missing the "world" faces you fell for. That was before you came into the inner circle.
There is no going back, so you have to train yourselves to get over the "mourning those who aren't dead" because YOU are "dead to those who don't mourn".
It isn't "right" or "fair" or "fun" ...it just is...and you HAVE to stop giving ghosts your energies. {{hugs}}
Just sayin', just sharin', because i know this to be the only way to survive and progress in this realm. We only have a limited amount of time here, and we don't know what that is. Hate to see any more wasted on the zombies than necessary, especially since they feed off of "good energies" to begin with.
LOL..".Don't feed the trolls" has just taken on a whole new meaning for me!
Cheers!
There is no going back, so you have to train yourselves to get over the "mourning those who aren't dead" because YOU are "dead to those who don't mourn".
Its my struggle too right now. I have to keep reminding myself that my STBX has no empathy. Although I hurt...at least I know what love feels like. He never will
I really hope you girls will start feeling better and not quite so sad. I truly am sorry. Try and do something special for yourselves, VERY often. You both deserve so much better, like the pot of gold under the rainbow.
Sending tons of support and bunches of hugs
Rad. You inspire me as well. We all gain out strength together and without you I would feel so alone and so confused. You brought clarity to what I always felt and never understood. I came on this site so completely distraught. Complete strangers have put themselves out there sharing such private painful details of their lives to help others. Helps knowing the world is not all bad.
I wouldn't wish my living arrangements for anyone. It's difficult and gut renching. However based on some of what I read here I don't have it half as bad. Our pain is ours and we all handle it different.
Rad you will make friends. Put yourselves out there like you do here. Don't let fear get in your way. Someone else needs friends too and you will make a great one!