Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
After almost 3 months of staying strong and I had a weak moment and it was of all things on Facebook. He had texted..called, threatned to come see me, emailed and I stayed stoic. Then after a month of hearing nothing from him, I recieved a message on facebook from him. We are not even friends, but I guess I did not have him blocked on there as he really had not tried to contact me on there and honestly doesn't really even like Facebook, says it is all Drama.
The message simply said, " I miss you. "
It was sent around 7 am.
I waited..I tried to ignore it. I even ignored when our mutual friends had said he could use a friend and I ought to call him. I was polite to them and thought well we can still be friends without involving him, which I thought we were doing. I asked them to please keep anything we discussed between us and I kept it positive and did not talk badly of him, just in case.
I could not get that message out of my head. It irritated the crap out of me.
People that honestly miss each other work things out, they try harder. They don't just ring you, leave voice mails and text as if they did nothing wrong, then give up. They really didn't make much of an effort if after a month of hearing nothing, they send a silly little message on facebook.. I miss you.
ARGHHHHHHH. :(
I broke... I typed a few hours later in reply " I wish I could believe that. "
Hit send and I have heard nothing.
Imagine that.
This took place yesterday. I called his bluff. He had nothing to say.
I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF. I am so weak, such an idiot. He wins again. I can just see his smug ass smile. If I was going to reply anyway..why couldn't I have been hateful about it and said, I miss you too, about as much as a bad rash. Or something smart ass. No, I had to just say what I felt.
Sometimes I literally digust myself.
The message simply said, " I miss you. "
It was sent around 7 am.
I waited..I tried to ignore it. I even ignored when our mutual friends had said he could use a friend and I ought to call him. I was polite to them and thought well we can still be friends without involving him, which I thought we were doing. I asked them to please keep anything we discussed between us and I kept it positive and did not talk badly of him, just in case.
I could not get that message out of my head. It irritated the crap out of me.
People that honestly miss each other work things out, they try harder. They don't just ring you, leave voice mails and text as if they did nothing wrong, then give up. They really didn't make much of an effort if after a month of hearing nothing, they send a silly little message on facebook.. I miss you.
ARGHHHHHHH. :(
I broke... I typed a few hours later in reply " I wish I could believe that. "
Hit send and I have heard nothing.
Imagine that.
This took place yesterday. I called his bluff. He had nothing to say.
I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF. I am so weak, such an idiot. He wins again. I can just see his smug ass smile. If I was going to reply anyway..why couldn't I have been hateful about it and said, I miss you too, about as much as a bad rash. Or something smart ass. No, I had to just say what I felt.
Sometimes I literally digust myself.
That's why you sending was OK---just this time.
He expected, if you answered it would be full of emotion. He must have had a huge disappointment!!!
There was NONE--ZERO--ZIP in your answer. It was perfect and I bet he is still shaking his head wondering what happened.
I think that speaks volumes for you to Joanie. That is terrific.
By the way, your horse looks a little like one I had when I was a kid. i loved that horse.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))0
I realised that living in his head like that was like wading around in a stinky, murky foetid swamp. Pointless and unpleasant. And so, one day, I managed to just wade out. I still don't have the answers, and so every now and then I do dip my toe back in, but then I remember how awful and pointless it is in there, and how pleasant it is in MY head, and so I wander away again.
It will take time, but you will also realise that living inside his head, trying to work out the whys, is pointless and unpleasant.
You are making great progress - I KNOW it doesn't feel like you are at the moment, it feels like you are making no progress at all. But I can see that you are making great progress. Keep on keeping on.
But Livn is SOO right (as she often is, wise woman) .... being in their heads is an ugly, yucky, stanky place to be.
Your horse is beautiful - I'm so glad you have him. And I'm so glad we have you .. and that guy doesn't! :-)
((hugs))