Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My girlfriend is starting to get abusive again. First it was the spying thing, now it is arguments about things that she said were forgiven and "water under the bridge." But now she is rehashing them. I am going to hold out and see if she stops it, but if she doesn't... i might have to end this relationship, especially if it starts to get a lot worse in a short amount o time. I love her, but i don't think i have the strength to go through another round of defensive measures and consoling, with no happy times anywhere on the horizon for a while... i am feeling drained, emotionally spent, and i feel like i am losing my mind... My head is not on straight right now.
It is very very difficult to accept that even though people may have good intentions of changing, sometimes people simply cannot change.
The fact that your girlfriend cannot move forward from any past issues that you two have had, is not healthy for you or the relationship. Everyone makes mistakes, no one gets along 100% of the time, abd basically sh** happens. If my boss at work rehashed every mistake I have ever made on the job, we would never complete any tasks and move forward.
This is the same in your relationship. How can you build a life together and move forward toward goals if she keeps bringing up past issues that should be left buried? It simply won't work.
I'm not advising you to end the relationship, but if you can't talk to her about this and get it resolved then you have to choose your best option.
It all boils down to what we can personally live with. If you are okay with giving 75% while she gives 25%, than it's all up to you.
You allowing her to abuse you is not going to help her in any way...it won't help you either.
We are here for you...
Last night she admitted that she had spied on me, again, and that her friends, her therapist said that it was understandable because i was not being forthcoming with my feelings. I am going to have to find a different abuse board, any suggestions ?
If you are feeling emotionally drained and not energized by your relationship maybe it's time to say goodbye. We all deserve to be with kind, loving people who trust and treasure us for who we are.
Hugs to you for your pain...I have been there.