i am only 21 and don thave much wisdom or advice...but my guess is, you dont really ever FORGET what happened to you, but mayebe you learn to better understand and cope with it. you can look at it from th eoutside and not be as effected by it and teach others with what u have learned. sorry i cant help ya further, but i understnad ur question.

marie ----

Please --- now ---- focus on yourself and
begin to practice SELF-CARE.

Self-care is the way we reclaim our lives
and our inner selves.

And by the way, remembering and crying
over the years of abuse will help you to
get it out. Crying isn't a sign that you're
a mess. Crying is a healing action.
Cry, cry, cry. It'll help you move
yourself forward.


Good for you, for being out, now!
And much love to you.

Thank you for the support. I was thinking about it later. Crying is a feeling. I guess putting things away where they don't hurt as much is a way to keep my sanity. Bringing them out sometimes and feeling the pain will help me to remember where I don't want to go again

For myself I had to first let out all the anger, the pain, the frustration, etc. I had it all bottled up inside and it made me numb to all the good feelings. I think if you spend some time when you can feel safe and alone you need to just let it out. Cry, scream, punch a pillow, throw rocks, whatever to let the feelings out.

I look at it this way, you have to clear your vessel of all the garbage and junk, then when you've emptied yourself of those negative emotions then you can start to replace them with good things, good experiences and feelings.

I've also done lots of praying. I realized not too long ago that I wasn't "ready" to be healed. I finally decided that I wanted God to heal my broken heart, I was ready for that. I asked God's holy spirit to heal my spirit (my mind, emotions and will). All I needed was to ask.

You start feeling again when you are being healed and that may take some time but trust that you will be healed. Healing doesn't happen overnight, it is a process. Peace to you and may God heal your spirit.

Sister,

I did the same thing you did. I lokked back on my old journals and just wept. But I also realized that I have grown and have some so far from the shell of the person I was. Then I cried some more.........for me. I also realized that it had nothing to do with me at all. It was all about him, his feelings, his wants, his needs. I was never really a part of that marriage. I was just the keeper of the gate. Now that I understand that no matter what, it was not me at all. I could have never filled the shoes that he needs filling, no one can. My healing started when I stopped telling myself I wasn't good enough and realizing that NOONE will ever be good enough for him.

I realized that he changed me into someone that I was not. And now he is gone. Now I can get me back out and start doing things again that I want to do.

I will not lie. It takes time. Healing is something that we have to allow our hearts to do on their own. If we try pushing to hard it just takes longer. Just let it run its course. You will know when it happens. You will feel different. Just take care of you now. Tomorrow is another day!