Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I did ok yesterday. Even though we are still living together I want to have as little interaction as possible. And I did it for almost twenty four hours, which seems ridiculous but it is so hard. Well I got home and he of course engaged me. Why was I acting this way? Why was I not speaking to him and sleeping downstairs? Why why I treating him like he did something wrong when it was clearly me. And I fell for it and once again found myself pointlessly trying to explain to this man how he hurts me. I told him he never apologizes when he does something horrible but instead tells me how I caused him to do it. His reply to that...because it's true that I cause these bad behaviours. How do you stop the cycle of getting caught up in this nonsense. How do these abusers have absolutely no understanding of what they do? It is beyond my realm of understanding as someone who never tries to hurt people and feels terrible if I do. I am rambling. My anxiety is crazy. I want to scream and cry.
stay strong my friend. I'm with you
no empathy, no remorse just a goal, to get you back in his favor so he can begin the process again
please remember he actually doesnt exist in reality and never will saddly
professional experience,
it doesn't really matter
whether they know
what they're doing
or are doing what
they're doing from
a state of total
ignorance.
You are living under
the roof of abuse.
This "partner" feels
entitled to destroy
your property
(throwing your
book away because
you might learn
something that
would inspire
you to leave him).
Who is he, to
destroy your property?
Who?
NOBODY.
He's an abuser.
This being the case,
you are NOT going
to be able to reach
him with "reasonable
explanations."
In fact, continuing
to try reach an
abuser with
rational thought
could ultimately
put you in danger.
I urge you in the
strongest terms
to make a call or
visit to your nearest
women's center.
There are resources
there that could offer
you valuable support.
Life with an abuser
will always, at best,
be life with an abuser.
You'll never get from
him the concept of
equality in any
aspect of life.
Abusers always
require that you
trash your own life
in favor of optimizing
theirs. There is no
other option, living
under the roof of abuse.
You can never and
will never
"stop the cycle"
of this nonsense.
He will always keep
you in the spin cycle
so that you don't know
which end is up.
That way, he can
continue to destroy
your things and
trash your LIFE.
You ended by
saying that
your anxiety
is crazy.
Actually, it's NOT.
Your anxiety is
your inner self
SCREAMING
at you that
your existence
is in jeopardy.
Ignore it at
your own risk.
You want to
scream and
cry because
you're being
abused.
Please visit
your local
women's center.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
clarity and safety.
The same reason he does all this crap to you is the same reason you are still living with him- because the two of you do this dance of him triggering you, you reacting, and then he "gets" to say, "Look at how crazy you are!" That way, he can get you thinking that YOU are the insane one and that you NEED him, so you never leave.
Now, he'll NEVER wake up and realize it, but YOU can! : )
The only way for this to end is to get out. Period.
Refuse to be a part of this sick tango of dysfunction.
Hugs.