Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
The more I read on the tactics of abuse, it's so hard to wrap my head around it all. I'm realizing my husband has done many of the things I've read here and in the abuse books.
My husband is realizing I am checked out and need my space. He keeps telling me, he can see how he was wrong or jealous and overreacted to things but - he says it was never his intention to hurt me, kill my self esteem and suck the spirit out if me (those were my words in describing how I've come to feel over the years)
Is it possible it was not his intention? Could he really be clueless as to how his behaviors could hurt me? He is pleading w me to make it work. He's reading books and agreed to IC - bc I'm now going this week - and I said we're beyond MC. Could he be realizing the horrible dynamics that our marriage has turned into?
I know it takes 2 to work on a marriage and that I stopped standing up for myself to avoid arguments, but it bothers me that he says that to me. He reminds me that even tho he is 90% to blame I hold some blame too. I'm working on myself and I feel he should be focusing on himself if he were genuine and not saying he's wrong, "but".
My husband is realizing I am checked out and need my space. He keeps telling me, he can see how he was wrong or jealous and overreacted to things but - he says it was never his intention to hurt me, kill my self esteem and suck the spirit out if me (those were my words in describing how I've come to feel over the years)
Is it possible it was not his intention? Could he really be clueless as to how his behaviors could hurt me? He is pleading w me to make it work. He's reading books and agreed to IC - bc I'm now going this week - and I said we're beyond MC. Could he be realizing the horrible dynamics that our marriage has turned into?
I know it takes 2 to work on a marriage and that I stopped standing up for myself to avoid arguments, but it bothers me that he says that to me. He reminds me that even tho he is 90% to blame I hold some blame too. I'm working on myself and I feel he should be focusing on himself if he were genuine and not saying he's wrong, "but".
at all on you after he was ABUSIVE, then he is STILL BEING ABUSIVE.
My H is doing this right now with the whole family. if we want him to quit drinking he will? If we want him to leave he will