Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So I haven't been on here in a long time, seeing as things were so called "going well". Isn't that how it always goes? You go through crap, it gets better and then you get to the crappy stuff again. I've basically been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now. The past year has been pretty rough with the emotional abuse. On and off of course. I finally decided to make the big move to be with him. I've been home for a bit now to get some things organized before I return to be with my boyfriend. But once again, he's giving me a really hard time about visiting my friends since I've been home. I just quit a really good job that I've been at for 11 years to move across the world to be with him. I don't understand how he can still be insecure? What more do I have to do to prove that I love him? I could go on and on about the horrible way he treats me. What my problem is now, I know deep down that I shouldn't feel this anxiety all the time. I'm starting to avoid talking to my family and friends because I don't want to always have to act like I have this "perfect life". I don't want to talk about with them because I know that once things are so call "going well" again I don't want them to remember all the bad things.I know I need to love myself and respect myself. If I did, I clearly wouldn't be in this situation.I just feel so scared to be on my own.I'm 32 now and feel like I've put so much time and effort into this relationship and I'm afraid that I'll be alone forever.I'm also scared because I've just left a great job and I feel like I have no other choice but to be with him. I just don't know what it will ever take for me to realize that he will never change.I wish I could just take a pill to alter my mind to make me feel strong. I'm drinking alot more lately to numb the stress and anxiety that I'm feeling lately. So basically my question is....how do I learn to love and respect myself and to be happy at being alone?
deleted_user
first thing is too stop drinking, maybe find a support group. If you are drinking you really can't work on you're life and get things better. Loving yourself is a decision,remember you are human, we all make mistakes.Everyone assumes they will be alone,if you work on yourself a better relationship will come.But it is ok to be alone and be comfortable with yourself, it just takes practice and work.
deleted_user
It sounds as though he is working on making you his "teddy". He is isolating you so that once you have no place to turn the abuse will then escalate and it will be harder for you to leave. Have you read the book "Controlling People" by Patricia Evans?
Angel32
I agree, he is working on making me his "teddy". He always uses the excuse that he's really stressed out at work when he treats me badly. I feel like all he wants is for me to be there for him when he is going through hard times but the support is never there for me. Mind you, the majority of my stress is caused because of him. I definately need to read that book. The stangest thing is, I feel like I want information on how I can make him better when I'm beginning to realize I can't.
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