Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am in a bit of a quandary at the moment. My husband says he loves me, but doesn't treat me with the same (or better) care of than our 2 dogs. He doesn't ask me for my opinion, or when he does, he blatantly ignores what I have to say. When we go on vacation, in less than a month from now (actually 2 weeks), we are going to go where he wants to go (as always).he constantly makes excuses for his short comings ( using expletives, for example. I am feeling like I just exist, but not for any particular reason. I hate feeling like this and I am pretty close to throwing in the towel...and just letting him be with the dogs...because I feel like I am not worth more than the dogs. I want to end my life right now because he blames me for every bad (negative) thing that happens lately on me. I am tired of carrying this load all by myself and I want to end it all RIGHT NOW!!!
Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated!!
Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated!!
Sure hope you were just writing out of frustration, BR! Hope that you are OK and reading today...
That you are a wonderful creation of our Creator and have a heck of a lot more worth than a cpl. o' dogs!
That just because some mentally stunted man has decided to treat you wrong, it is HIS shortcoming, NOT yours.
Your LIFE is worth more than ending it over some abuser, who'd just move on to his next patsy/sucker/victim anyway.
Hope you read this, read through some of the other gazzillion posts here, gather some strength, and choose survival.
You'll be OK, as long as you have faith in YOU! :)
{hugz}
Your husband sounds very much what mine was like, only his favorite thing over the kids and I were fish.
Maybe you could somehow get away by yourself for a week or so,
or just anything to get away for a bit?
You shouldn't be carrying any load---it is NOT your fault and just because he says it is, you do not have to believe him.
(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
No abuser is worth
ending your life over.
This is the
TRUE VIOLENCE
of emotional abuse.
Please connect yourself
with the nearest women's
aid centre and get the
support of counseling.
Your life and your
well-being are
PRECIOUS.
Please don't harm yourself.
You're a flower
on the stem
of the universe.
You are definitely not alone, as you can see from the other posters. I too (and my children) came behind the dog. When I kicked him out, he wanted visitation with the dog, not the kids. He knew the kids would want no part of him. He verbally abused them as well. Vacations also were all about my spouse. Abusers are a selfish bunch. My spouse blamed me for the stock market taking a nosedive. Yes, he found a way to (in his sick mind) make it my fault.
Understand your abusers life goal is to make certain you feel just the way you did last night. He wants to break you. DO NOT LET HIM. Your children need you. I kicked my abuser out. Life was soooo much better!
Like for example today, we were delivering our local papers (which we have to do together because I don't drive), and we have a list of people we don't deliver to...and he tells me that we don't deliver to this certain address and then when I get back in the car he says he will deliver to that house...then he proceeds to tell me that I should be thanking him for delivering to that address instead of being mad because he originally told me not to deliver to that address. So I should be "thankful that he decided to do it himself". That made me very angry, but as usual I held it all in!! I have to figure out a good way of releasing my stress level!!
Well thanks all for your interesting comments!!
A couple points:
[1] Yes. You need a way
to be able to expel the
negative emotions you
experience. Holding it
in will ultimately cause
you ill health.
[2] Of COURSE, your abuser
doesn't react "well" when you
assert yourself. He's an abuser.
Your abuser views you as a
bulls-eye target that he feels
fully entitled to use
for target practice.
[3] Remaining together with
an abuser will ultimately
result in the destruction
of everything that makes
life worth living.
[4] As long as you remain
with this (or any other)
abuser, your life will
almost certainly be
fraught with pain
and suffering.
[5] If your choice
is to remain with
this (or any other)
abuser, then it's
emphatically NOT
a good idea to
attempt to assert
yourself. Why not?
Because it puts
your safety in
jeopardy.
Please take good
care of yourself.
Sending you hugs
and healing prayers.
I think the title you gave this thread says it all. Saying "I love you" is one thing, showing it is another!
You need to think about whether or not you want to live you life on pins and needles with a man who does not have the internal resources.
Prayers go my way.
Soon after the neglect I was experiencing from my ex became obvious, I became the blame for everything. I became the one at fault for any of his bad behavior. Over time, I felt extremely suicidal, even true guilt at times.
But it's different now. I've been away for months and I am already feeling better more often than not. I have met men that seem genuine and have been capable of owning their own mistakes. They're kind to my dog while still making me a priority. It's made me realize that it really wasn't me. And I'm pretty sure it's not you, either.