Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
He keeps making up excuses to call. He called today and I ignored the call. Then he called again this evening. He asked if it was ok to call me, did I have a problem with it. I told him we were friends only and that was the only way I would talk to him. He hung up on me. What part of asking him to leave for over a year doesnt he understand. He knows the things he did and knows I wont ever forget them. He knows what my son would do to him if he came back. He calls about once a week. He lies to me when he calls and tries make me feel guilty for all his problems. He dont know that I know all the lies he's telling people about me. He is playing the victim. I am proud of my self for ignoring the first phone call today. Each day is a stronger day
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
My take on it is that every call you DO take is one more chance for him to manupliate you, cause confusion, cause you to question your very sanity, or cause you to doubt. I would not even be his friend. I am a big fan of the NO CONTACT RULE, because I know first hand that it works in aiding your healing.
His contact is causing you some duress, or you probably wouldn't be posting about it! I don't know your whole story, but would venture to guess that he's lied to you (from your post), he's badmouthed you, and he doesn't sound like friend material.
If this behavior came from a girl friend, would you even bother or care to reciprocate true friendship for this kind of abusive behavior.
When someone lies about you, it's a form of abuse in my book. I don't care why, it matters not. MOst likely he's trying to convince and control people's thoughts about you, and make drifts! I couldn't trust this person as far as I could throw them!
Give yourself the perfect X-Mas gift, and bury this relationship, once and for all! I think you'd be happier, have less stress, and have less crap floating around in your head due to his crap!
I wouldn't tell him this, what I'm about to tell you, because it could endanger you but . . . . .
You said you told him that you were "friends."
Sweetie ----- he is not, nor (as has already been pointed out here) does he have the capability to be a "friend." Friends don't go out and spread lies about friends.
Given these facts ------ decide in your own mind and heart that he really can never be your "friend." Again, DON'T share that inner decision with him. Just act on it.
Initiate NO CONTACT. CONSISTENT, ON-GOING, PERMANENT ------ NO CONTACT.
After that take all the steps that would be appropriate for keeping yourself safe from a stalker.
These actions are what are required no for you to pick up the pieces, begin a new life and move forward in a healthy manner.
My very best to you. Take good care of yourself.
Ilene
If any 'friends' believe his lies, I'd break contact with them as well.