Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am sorry I haven't been around to post much lately... I have been consumed with work and trying to put my life back together. It had been decidely more difficult this time around, even though my split with him in February was the worst it has ever been.
I feel like I have sunk into this depression I can't get my way out of... It is deeper than medication. I am on some, and honestly it doesn't seem to help with the pain of what he did to me, the loss of the dream I had that things would finally get better... And we could finally be a happy family.
I just saw someone I haven't seen in a while, and of course they ask about my ex... Later, we talking about parenting, and I flashed back to my ex and I... And how we actually were trying to conceive a child at one point. And i cpuld just feel the tears well up in my eyes.
Now I am all alone, and all I can think about is that my birthday is next week. I am about to be 35, with no child or husband- no one on the horizon, working a job I have grown out of... And living with regrets of what I should have done.
He hasn't contacted me, or even tried to (that I know of)... He is blocked onmy phone. And I just feel so utterly replaceable!
Where is the man who promised the world to me? Who swore on his daughter's life (something he has never done before) that I was the love of his life?
Where is my apology?
Why isn't he crawling back to me on his knees?
I hate the things he did to me, the way he made me feel... And in some f'ed up way, I feel like he is still doing them- stonewalling me and shutting me out- even though I was the one who walked away! Please excuse the language... it just expresses how I feel the best right now!
I feel like I have sunk into this depression I can't get my way out of... It is deeper than medication. I am on some, and honestly it doesn't seem to help with the pain of what he did to me, the loss of the dream I had that things would finally get better... And we could finally be a happy family.
I just saw someone I haven't seen in a while, and of course they ask about my ex... Later, we talking about parenting, and I flashed back to my ex and I... And how we actually were trying to conceive a child at one point. And i cpuld just feel the tears well up in my eyes.
Now I am all alone, and all I can think about is that my birthday is next week. I am about to be 35, with no child or husband- no one on the horizon, working a job I have grown out of... And living with regrets of what I should have done.
He hasn't contacted me, or even tried to (that I know of)... He is blocked onmy phone. And I just feel so utterly replaceable!
Where is the man who promised the world to me? Who swore on his daughter's life (something he has never done before) that I was the love of his life?
Where is my apology?
Why isn't he crawling back to me on his knees?
I hate the things he did to me, the way he made me feel... And in some f'ed up way, I feel like he is still doing them- stonewalling me and shutting me out- even though I was the one who walked away! Please excuse the language... it just expresses how I feel the best right now!
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
The only things I can suggest are keep him blocked for obvious reasons, keep taking your meds, and keep venting on here - that's what we are here for. (((Hugs)))
Sucks. Unbelievably. But I get it... :( xx
I'm also in recovery...
I didn't meet him until I was 53 years old... seven years with a verbal abuser. I've been out of that situation three months now.
Even though I'm older than many of you, I'm still in much pain. But each passing week gets better.
So this man didn't appreciate you. He is an abuser, yes? Abusers don't appreciate ANYBODY except themselves. They are fundamentally incapable of it.
He can only keep hurting you as long as you keep caring about what he thinks and feels.
Yes, you lost some big dreams of having a happy life with this man. You have to grieve the loss of those dreams. It's a phase you have to go through, but it won't last forever.
I hope you feel better soon.
I don't think abusers are ever apologetic, I still haven't seen one after a year. It just shows they have no conscious.
I don't actually wish him harm, I'd never try to hurt him, but no is there anything he could possibly do to get me to have even a little trust in him again, after he so thoroughly shattered my trust, so many times.
The other thing is ... when I was your age, I was in my 2nd abusive relationship. I didn't have my beautiful baby boy (now nearly 6) until I was a couple of months shy of my 40th birthday. I hadn't done the work you're now doing so, unfortunately, I was in my 3rd abusive relationship - the worst of the lot - and am now a single mother. But you ARE doing the work, which means there is still a real chance for you to have a baby with someone who actually cares for you and will respect you and the child.
Life isn't over. It's fine (and even sensible) to be angry and sad about all the stuff he took from you, all the dreams he built only to shatter them. But life isn't over - there's time for new dreams, or even for similar dreams with someone with whom you can actually achieve them.