Not your fault at all. It is the adult that told you to not say anything...so your Dad can feel all that crap that you are feeling and you can let it go...

It's MY fault because I made my mom mad. I feel like my dad said more to me last night but I can't remember. I know it was some stupid comment because he was drunk. My brother went and got him last night from bar. My dad said to me today If mom knew he (brother) had friends over then I should've answered her. Instead I lied to her. How did I lie by not saying anything to my mom?!?!! I'm holding back tears right now.

You're caught in the middle of a game that is between your dad and mom ONLY. It's not your fault. How your brother is punished or allowed to cheat has nothing to do with you; it is your brother not your son. He is under the responsibility or your parents, not you.

You did the right thing to keep silent. Other than that, you could simply tell your mom that the issue is between her and your dad, and to ask him. Because that is the truth!!!

You do NOT have to play the game!

You did NOT "cause" anything.

Your father INSTRUCTED YOU
to LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is a DESPICALBE
form of ABUSE.

As long as you remain in this
abusive household

you will be abused.


I hope you will love your self
and love your life

and

become the woman
you're meant to be. . . .
the first step of which
(now that you're a
legal adult),
would be to LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning my mom started griping at me. I refused to talk to her if she was going to gripe. She then said good I didn't even want to talk to you, you little liar. I want to cry I'm just holding Back tears instead. I hate myself. I hate me!!!!

I scream at myself now!!!! I'm terrible!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

That's SOOOOOO SAD.

This is the tragic result
of growing up under
the roof of abuse.

[[[[Parents living with
an abuser who feel
stuck. . . . . please
witness the pain
and torment that
results in a child
growing up under
the roof of abuse.
The consequences
are TRAGIC.]]]]]

v.w. ----- you're a
legal adult now. I
hope one day you
will wake up and
decide that THIS
IS THE DAY I will
CLAIM MY LIFE.
I hope on that day,
you will find your
way to the office
of a qualified
clinician, who
will begin to guide
you to a new and
healthier life. . . a
life in which you will
LOVE YOURSELF.

Sending you love
and prayers for
that day of new
beginnings, to
arrive sooner
than later.

IIene. I feel broken. Like I've been hurt and won't heal. I've been emotionally scarred by mom and every time I think of what mom said this morning it makes me want to cry.

If I left where would I go? :(

Violet,

It is not your fault. Your dad knew your mom did not want your brother's friends over but he felt it was okay and did not care about what would happen afterwards when she learned about it. So it seems like he did on purpose. What a mean and horrible thing to do to someone. I don't think it was nice for your mom to call you names, she should get mad at her husband NOT YOU! because he is the adult.

v.w. -----

If you would reach out
for help from
QUALIFIED
PROFESSIONALS,

there may be options
you have no clue about
at this moment.

Until you do that,

you will continue
to endure the hell
in which you've been raised.

That hell HAS HURT you.
You have been INJURED
by the abuse perpetrated
by your parents.

But. . . . once you begin
to claim your life for
YOUR SELF,

you CAN and you WILL
HEAL.

UNTIL you claim your
life, AND reach out for help
(QUALIFIED CLINICIANS),

it's probably that your
life will never feel
any better than it
does right now.

If you had a physical illness
or injury, you would get
treatment from a physician.

The SAME principle apples
to emotional/psychological
injuries. You NEED to get
connected with QUALIFIED
professionals who can
support you, guide you
and help you begin to heal.

V.w.
I just want to encourage you to use this site and to reach out for help in apprpreiate directions now. Dont put it off too long. The longer u live the way u are the more likely you will end up in a horrible marriage just to escape ur home. Plz plz realize that you are a precious life that deserves so much more. (I know from first hand. Ive spent 15 yrs married to a man who groomed me into being his wife from the time I was young)
what would you say to someone else who told u that story? Would u blame her?

No I wouldn't. I'd say she didn't see how terrible the person was. I'm so drained physically. My mom stresses me out so much.

If you wouldn't blame someone else cant you see that you need to cut yourself some slack too?

It may be important to remember it was Mother's Day. Your dad was setting it up for her disappointment by having her daughter lie to her. Shame on him. Your mom probably didn't have a very nice day either.
Maybe if you gave her a hug and told her you just didn't want her upset on M.D. things would improve (this time). You didn't cause it, you played into it.