I come from a very abusive home. I don't have children. I can see how giving up on the kids would be hard but from my experience, you really do have to let people go or at least reduce contact greatly when they are abusive. It's really sad and disappointing but I don't think you should feel guilty although I understand feeling guilty, too. You really have to do what is best for yourself, even if it means going no or low contact. I don't feel guilty about giving up or going no contact with my siblings. They are awful. It's harder with my parents. I am farily low contact with them except my mom who is living in my house with me and I'm taking care of her which is hell. Something I'm trying to change.
It's good you have a therapist that is there for you. Maybe you can work something out that you feel comfortable with, like low contact instead of no contact or something in between full cut off. I know how toxic people rarely respect boundaries but you can try create boundaries with them if they will respect that. Write me anytime. I'm know the unique hell of dealing with an abuse family and all of the fallout and pain it causes. Hugs

I am in a similar situation, With a family of a mentally ill son, All he wanted was a little brother. The parent's and daughter seem to think somehow it's their fault, And are taking it out on me and making my parent's play along with their son's delusions, And making me think I'm his little brother.

He has been emotionally abusing me for probably 3 or 4yrs.....Would have gotten physical, If his dad wasn't here watching him

He was one of these guys, I am older then You, I have to know You can't, I haven't taught that to You

And Like Your situation, I fear might have rubbed-off on his nieces and
nephew My mother has lunch with his mother, And said, he is in their lives somehow, meaning he's not really in .their lives anymore.

It's vary sad. I'm sorry Your going through that

Boundaries are not for others to respect; they are for one to enforce.

Anointed,

Bless you. Abuse is designed in its own hell of no design, to keep us feeling guilty of someone else's guilt.

As someone who has been abused, i know there aren't words big enough to bring the needed comfort to fix that thing that can't be humanly fixed.

Bless you as you struggle with grief over the impact on you and people you love and all this undeserved guilt.

And someone who has also lost a precious family member to abuse, bless you as people you love or respect, and even strangers like myself come with advice that is too small to impact all the hurt and grief to you.

Bless you. Keep struggling.

Bless you...