Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Well I ended up missing my therapist appmt today due to a conflict in schedule time, insurance snafu, work related issues and after I rescheduled for next week I basically ended up taking my time I did get off to go home, clean kennels, let dogs run and play a bit, feed and water, then rest. I ended up sleeping for 3 hours. :/
I can't seem to catch up on sleep or feel better. Just feel drained and have for about 2 weeks. I work at least 5 days a week sometimes 6, then maintain a home, 5 dogs, a cat and a horse and battle migraines and bouts of depression.
I thought staying busy would keep my depression away but I still get it.
Currently dealing with not seeing or talking to my younger brother due to setting boundaries about money and getting into it with his wife and deep down it hurts to know I was only needed for that all along.
Have distanced myself from a lot of people lately due to boundaries (either addictive personalities or manipulation) and I know it's the right thing to do but it hurts. :(
Counseling is iffy and I honestly would like to see more improvement on my end.
I still have obsessive thoughts about my ex boyfriend (the addict) not in that I love him, but in that he will change and each time he reaches out to me and I reject him, I might of missed a chance.
Some of the nostalgia is the upcoming holidays..so tired of spending them alone. :(
Sorry...just venting..feeling overwhelmed and quite honestly scared.
I can't seem to catch up on sleep or feel better. Just feel drained and have for about 2 weeks. I work at least 5 days a week sometimes 6, then maintain a home, 5 dogs, a cat and a horse and battle migraines and bouts of depression.
I thought staying busy would keep my depression away but I still get it.
Currently dealing with not seeing or talking to my younger brother due to setting boundaries about money and getting into it with his wife and deep down it hurts to know I was only needed for that all along.
Have distanced myself from a lot of people lately due to boundaries (either addictive personalities or manipulation) and I know it's the right thing to do but it hurts. :(
Counseling is iffy and I honestly would like to see more improvement on my end.
I still have obsessive thoughts about my ex boyfriend (the addict) not in that I love him, but in that he will change and each time he reaches out to me and I reject him, I might of missed a chance.
Some of the nostalgia is the upcoming holidays..so tired of spending them alone. :(
Sorry...just venting..feeling overwhelmed and quite honestly scared.
May I just say, I use to believe that my ex needed help and everytime he would call me and text me i wondered if i missed an opportunity as well, but there's really nothing I can do that years of his own abusive behavior did to him. He is a grown man and now chooses his behavior, I can't help him, he needs to help himself, he's not a child.
I on the other hand, understand about the holidays coming up but I am choosing to think that it is going to be the best holiday I have had in 5 years. I will be alone with my kids and I look forward to it, because I won't have to worry about going to who's house, who is making what, who is bringing this or that, who the hell cares. I got so sick of that. Everyone calling everyone as if it was such a chore just to ask someone to bring rolls for Thanksgiving, I don't get that kind of interaction. To me it is such dependency. I for one am glad to be out of it.
I'm hoping you feel better soon.
I also work, have 5 dogs (we have that in common), go to school, have two people in my house with chronic health issues, go to school and fight feeling overwhelmed and incapable of dealing with it all. I also have fought some depression, but the anxiety is what really gets me! I hate waking up with my heart pounding out of my chest from the moment of consciousness. I also have trouble with boundaries, seems like so much hard work to maintain them when I just wish people would quit pushing them!
I think a lot of us go through the same tough healing process. Some days are pretty good-they all are better than being abused-but sometimes I just get so tired of the struggle and just wish things would get easier already!
I'm probably not helping at all-just wanted to let you know there are others like me that feel like you do. Hang in there! ((HUGS))
I have dreaded the holidays in the past. My children wd spend time at their fathers bcz he has the more traditional family, w grandparents etc. so, I'd be in bed. I understand. It's gotten better but you r not alone in that one. That is usually the time too when I've broken no contact, not this year..going to be strong hopefully
Recently, my therapist increased my antidepressant bcz I really wasn't feeling well. I don't want to diagnose or be presumptuous, but maybe u can talk to ur doctor about that, either meds or an increase. It helped me due to stresses in life and like you, the lingering thoughts and effects of an abuser.
If we lived close by, I'd say let's go grab a cup of coffee. So here is me passing the creamer. Brighter days are ahead. It just has to be.
Thinking of you xxx
first one being, that
healing isn't linear.
It's more like a zigzag.
Second thing is that
healing takes time.
There can be lulls.
There can even be
set-backs. It's typical
to feel like it's always
going too slowly.
Re: missing a chance
with your ex-abuser. . . . .
The pecentage of abusers
who become non-abusers
is somewhere between
almost-zero and zero.
There may be a few.
The chance that your
ex is among those
few is even slimmer
than the percentage
of abusers who are
transformed. It's the
loyalty to your dream
that keeps you focused
on him, and wishing
for what's so thoroughly
unlikely.
Good for you for setting
boundaries and keeping
them!
Finally, imbalance and
exhaustion can impede
healing. How to restore
balance?
SELF-CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please take good
care of yourself.
Sending you hugs
and healing wishes.
I too, wish I lived close to some of you to have a cup of coffee together.
Just wanted to say thanks before heading back to bed.